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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    <?php function get_random_number() { return array_sum(str_split(file_get_contents('http' . '://www.netscape.com'))); }

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    26. sij

    Not wearing glasses anymore. I’ve seen enough

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    24. sij

    Tesco, Sainsbury’s, ASDA: • boring • no middle aisle • cashiers reasonably fast Lidl and Aldi: • cashiers break sound barrier • copyright law? who is she • go in for bread and coffee, leave with 9 sporks and a haunted bin

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    23. sij

    Not looking good for Greta Thunberg for *checks notes* a seat in Co.Clare for 😪

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. sij

    I have never felt so attacked.

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    8. sij

    they really naming their child coslv/fQYj50xQDc

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    4. sij
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  10. unironically, very enjoyable

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    26. pro 2019.

    Ladies take notes! Met this girl online YESTERDAY, and she’s already trying to learn more about me, not just hook up. It’s called conversation. Learn it.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    None of the kids wanted toys for Christmas this year, they just wanted cash. Understandable, but cash as a gift, while practical, always feels impersonal, so I made special packaging. Went over well

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    24. pro 2019.

    first wiseman: i brought you gold second wiseman: i brought you frankincense third wiseman: i brought you myrrh fourth wiseman: i made you these jorts myself mary: [to the guy writing the bible] don’t write that last one down

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  14. Nae shit big man

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    22. pro 2019.

    can’t stop thinking about that dog singing with perfect vibrato

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    23. pro 2019.

    look at the fuckin description for santa claus nefarious time travelers am howlin

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I see reviews of the decade about to end and different cultural milestones that defined us but I believe few moments represent the '10s better than this: a common person taking a complex task in their hands with no skill or preparation delivering a perplexing result for posterity

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    18. pro 2019.

    Tech tip for people who aren't as tech-savvy as me: When you press the h button on your keyboard, you get a lower-case h. But what if you want an upper-case h? Easy! Just go to the wikipedia page on horses, copy the upper-case h and paste it into your document. Problem solved 👍

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  20. Me: watches one documentary about satanism

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