cluedont

@cluedont

My dyslexia has reached a new owl.

Vrijeme pridruživanja: lipanj 2010.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    13. stu 2013.

    If I was Phil Collins I'd rub my belly after every meal and say 'I'm Full Collins', then insist everyone either laughed or left my house.

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  2. prije 1 sat

    I wouldn't bother contacting Microsoft for a while. I've just sent an error report so they'll obviously all be busy dealing with that at the moment.

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    Whenever I see someone on one of these, I like to imagine they started out with a much larger vehicle and their journey has been riddled with mishaps.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Imagine how fucking powerful this cat must feel

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  5. prije 3 sata

    Having a toddler is great because you get to learn all about dinosaurs again plus sleep deprivation.

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  6. prije 6 sati

    'Seems legit' is a good name for nasty French tailor.

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  7. prije 7 sati

    That awkward moment when your chair makes a noise like a fart so you try to do it again to show you didn't fart but then accidentally fart.

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  8. prije 9 sati

    Government unveils new celebratory giant Brexit condom.

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  9. prije 18 sati

    Can't ring out a bell if it doesn't sweat.

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. ruj 2016.

    I do love a good palindrome, or as they say in Wales, Selaw ni yas yeht sa ro, emordnilap doog a evol od I.

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Am I the only person who sees a rabbit giving Ireland a shoulder massage?

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  12. 6. velj

    If anyone ever asks me 'Beatles or Stones?', I just politely tell them that I've already eaten.

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  13. 6. velj

    These duty free perfume staff seem a bit full on.

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  14. 4. velj

    I may be getting old but I'm not 'oh it's gone off' when someone hands me their phone to look at something old.

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  15. 3. velj

    'Always ensure Jimmy Tarbuck points an imaginary gun into the patient's throat'

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  16. 2. velj

    Uncut Gems is really good. In a mad, relentlessly intense way.

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  17. 2. velj
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  18. 2. velj

    It's almost like time in prison isn't deterring terrorists from doing more terrorism.

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  19. 2. velj

    You never wake up like a log.

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  20. 1. velj

    I swear Tom Jones gets older every week.

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij
    Tweet je nedostupan.
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