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I’ve been thinking about how there was a point in school where I was the only black kid in the class & I wouldn’t ask questions bc I was afraid I’d make black ppl look dumb if I said the wrong thing. I’m only now beginning to understand the implications of that sort of violence.
It’s tragic that we live in a country where a child feels like they can’t express their sense of curiosity because they are made to feel like they carry the weight of an entire population of people. That there was no room for questions, only answers, and only the correct answers.
This is what racism does to you. It attempts to take away the most basic functions of what it means to be human. It doesn’t give you room to be make mistakes w/o making you feel as if you have done a disservice to your entire community. It’s too much weight for a child to carry.
To push this even further, it’s important to question what other things end up being lost in this silence. What art isn’t created? What paths aren’t pursued? What questions aren’t asked by a student that might have served as a catalyst to a new way of thinking about the world?
The implicit pressure on black students, black writers, black artists & black professionals in majority white spaces to feel as if they have to represent an entire demographic of people by never making a mistake takes an enormous & too often unaccounted for psychological burden.
I wonder how many white people are aware of this inhibition.
Near zero.
That is a terrible way for a child to feel.
@ClintSmithIII I’ve felt this same pressure during my time with the New York City Ballet.
Thankfully, you have your voice now.
I had a professor who never took volunteers. He called on you. And he did not move on if he didn't immediately get the answer. Some found it terrifying. I found it motivation, liberating, and equalizing.
To be clear, I'm white. I was just a shy girl who would never have demonstrated that I had done my work if I hadn't been called on.
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