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Oct 3, 2021

I am reevaluating my apple preferences. The first, featuring the 6 apple varieties that were readily at the store, starts today. They will be graded on the 5 qualities of appleness I have identified: Sweetness, tartness, texture, crispness, and overall "apple goodness."

This is the worst thing to ever happen to language literally

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DrewMcWeeny

@DrewMcWeeny

Feb 3

"Biopic" does not rhyme with "myopic," goddammit.

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"Biopic" does not rhyme with "myopic," goddammit.

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Phil NO please reconsider

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KTVN 2 News

@KTVN

Feb 2

Phil, the groundhog, saw his shadow, which means we have six more weeks of winter.

Jan 30

I buy low sodium canned soup and then add salt to it to feel like I'm cooking

Jan 30

I say it every year, but this time I think it's going to happen. This will be the year Phoenix Wright eyebrows become a beauty trend.

Hey

the "delete" option is too close to the "rename" option. Please let me know when this has been corrected.

Céline Dion, Elvis Presley - If I Can Dream (2007)

Jan 26

EMERGENCY HELP REQUIRED!!!!!!! DOES ANYBODY HAVE THE GIF OF NATHANIEL MARSHALL FROM AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 8 MAKING THAT DISGUSTED FACE AND CLAPPING???

No disrespect to Maya Rudolph

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Really feeling the urge to rewatch and rank every single Spielberg movie according to my own taste and whims.

The movie also left out the most important part of Elvis's life: when they brought him back from the dead to perform on American Idol.

youtube.com

On April 25, 2007, Celine Dion performed the song "If I can dream" in a virtual duet with Elvis Presley, during the television show "American Idol", at the K...

Somehow the Internet failed to prepare me for how weird the Elvis movie was. Y'all said it was strange but you didn't say it was the most bizarre thing I'd watch in years.

I wonder how much cat fur I consume as a percentage of all matter consumed per year

Jan 16

Twitter getting rid of chronological timelines will truly be my breaking point. Is there like a chrome plug in to fix this yet?

Jan 16

Sprained foot, still giving me grief in waves. Haven't made rice since.

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Jan 4

I sustained a rice cooking foot injury.

Jan 14

Literally none of you are from Maine. Disappointed.

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CNN Breaking News

@cnnbrk

Jan 14

A single winning ticket for Friday’s $1.35 billion Mega Millions jackpot drawing was sold in Maine cnn.it/3QCeyVB

Jan 12

I've suddenly become a big time black tea drinker. I don't know who I am anymore.

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ALT

Jan 11

Bob Odenkirk should go accept the Globe as Kevin Costner #GoldenGlobes

Michelle Yeoh has to be the first award winner to threaten to beat up the musicians playing off her speech Legend

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Jan 8

Quick survey: is Western horse rodeo cowboy fashion really popular right now wherever you live?

Muppet on bike alert

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The Muppets

@TheMuppets

It's the first full weekend of the new year! Take a leap and discover the world around you.

Well it was fun while it lasted.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Republican from Georgia, holds her smart phone with former US President Donald Trump on the line, as Rep. Matt Rosendale, a Republican from Montana, waves it off during a meeting of the 118th Congress in the House Chamber on Friday. #SpeakerVote

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Gaetz has an amazing opportunity to do the funniest thing possible on this coming 15th ballot.

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They fightin' in the clown car!

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Omg REALLY???? LOOOOOOL

Human in a bear suit vibes.

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Just like Grover to make the birth of christ all about himself twitter.com/Grover/status/

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Jan 5

I feel like Americans started pronouncing foyer wrong in my lifetime. Were people always doing it? How come I never noticed?

"Paint me like one of your french girls" - Grover

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