What were some ways your parents cultivated agency/independence/intrinsic motivation in you?
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I think this one was key— my mom had a positive reaction when I brought up my own ideas or things I wanted to do. I expressed interest in something? Cool! She was encouraging & set me up to be able to explore that interest.
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Hand in hand with the above, sometimes I wanted to do mildly risky things, like scramble on rocks & climb trees, and later on travel solo. I'm sure my mom was nervous but she would mostly let me do the thing.
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Sometimes I had a larger project I wanted to tackle that required money from my parents. Then, I had to make my case. Tell my dad the pros and cons and show that I had thought through it all— then I got approval.
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I think these types of things showed me— I can manage risks, I can think for myself and weigh decisions, I can figure things out and make things happen
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My dad was always telling me to use my head lol. And he had all these tricksy games and jokes to show ways that you can break the "rules" or think differently because you have more freedom than you realize
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curious to hear from others!!! because i would like to be good at this if I am parent
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It was clear I would not be rescued sometimes
(usually a situation that seemed big to me but was not). And it was up to me to pick myself up and get it together 
This built my confidence in myself and my ability to do that.Show this thread -
There was an underlying, “we are confident in you and your abilities to figure things out.”
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End of conversation
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