christine

there’s something I’d like to name, or find an existing name for. I don’t want it to be condescending but it’s hard (and maybe wrong) for me to mask my genuine aversion to it it’s in the vicinity of approval-seeking, prestige-seeking… desire to past tests… follow rules…

it came up in a conversation where I realized it’s very difficult for me to explain myself to someone who’s been very steeped in this sort of worldview. Like I just do whatever I want. This is alien to them and they expect me to have answers to each of their concerns

But my answer to each of their concerns is really “I do not care”

“What if you fail to maximise utility” I do not care “What about the opportunity cost” I do not care “But you’re decreasing optionality” I do not care “Your wasted potential?” I do not care “What if you get in trouble” I do not care “What if people laugh” I do not care