christine

there's a few states I've noticed I get into frequently, and I've been trying to name and articulate them better. they're not just emotions but general orientations towards the world, a mix of feelings and behaviors e.g. I call one of them "debilitated avoidance"

"debilitated avoidance" – feeling some kind of discomfort or anxiety, and feeling unable to do anything about it. also includes prolonged procrastination, and a sense of a lack of safety

another one is "joyful wonder and excitement" – moments where I'm bursting with curiosity, excited to read and learn about everything, smiling in interactions with others. definitely one of my favorite states (but it's also a little hyperactive / distractible)

another one is "frustrated yearning" – when there's something I want and I can't have it. I feel consumed by something I'm lacking and it's hard to think about anything else. often accompanied by self-loathing and anger. generally an unproductive state in my experience

finally there's "loving contentment" – it's close to "joyful wonder" but it's a bit more chilled out. I feel extremely at ease with myself and capable of loving others. I'm not yearning for anything in particular