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  1. Pinned Tweet

    passed a dog wearing a vest that said "careful! i'm still learning how to be around people" and experienced a borderline-spiritual "same"

  2. just caught a bulbasaur on my oscillating fan siq

  3. weirdly no niall

  4. love when people give their baby a hot name like "that's right he's gonna fuck a TON"

  5. usually think of myself as a respectful person but then the year's hottest baby names list comes out and i remember i'm a victorian-era snob

  6. love 2 b casual and normal

  7. baby pangolins always look like they're waiting to nervously ask you to prom

  8. in one of my most time-honored traditions, i did personal writing for free on the internet tonight

  9. I'm not into it, but OK! Let's go!

  10. *twists moustache* when you say "we" should do this, do you mean me? are you asking me to do you a favor?

  11. love to force someone who's trying to passive aggressively communicate with me to come out and say what they mean

  12. the gist is "our nanny scratched our car & communicated about it in a manner i found unsatisfactory. meanwhile, i am very busy & important."

  13. a four minute story has taken her fifteen minutes and her saintly friends are still engaging, asking followup questions

  14. i have some notes about story pacing for the woman sitting next to me at this restaurant

  15. love 2 remember having the thought "this is a stupid place to put my [important object]" but not remember where that place is

  16. ~'s lil lists where they ask celebrities abt the last thing they bought online are 😚👌

  17. makes me sad 2 imagine needing to metabolize love via an apology instead of several exclamation points

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