Chris Merriman

@ChrisTheDJ

Tech journalist, Panjandrum for hire to TV & radio, Mediocrity polymath. (RT doesn't imply I've read it properly.) chris@merriman.online

London, UK
about.me/christhedj
Joined September 2008
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    24 May 2020

    RT so I can pin it. You should too.

    3 replies 3 retweets 11 likes
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  2. 2 hours ago

    We've not seen the Tory incontinence power-stance lately. Maybe Theresa May held an exclusive licence for it....

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  3. 3 hours ago

    Mrs H: "Matthew! Did you leave the toilet seat up?" MH: "Well, let me say this. The piss was a team effort and it was the right thing to do. There was no point where the toilet seat was permanently up."

    1 like
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  4. 3 hours ago

    Oh brilliant. There's the sun, right on queue, half an hour too late.

    1 reply
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  5. 3 hours ago

    Go !!! The Cambridge Analytica question really rattled the little shrew.

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  6. 4 hours ago

    "If you attack my arrival by plane, I respectfully point out the UK is actually in the lead in developing sustainable aviation fuel" Logic: "If you criticise me for kicking kittens to death today, remember that I didn't kick any yesterday, and I gave one a saucer of milk once"

    Boris Johnson departs plane
    Boris Johnson defends his arrival to G7 summit in Cornwall by plane "The UK is actually in the lead in developing sustainable aviation fuel, and one of the points in the 10 point plan of our green industrial revolution, is to get to 'jet zero' as well"
    1 reply 2 likes
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  7. 6 hours ago

    "Who's got one thumb and massive carbon footprint?"

    1 reply 6 likes
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  8. 6 hours ago

    If anyone wants to see a huge, sweaty wriggling penis, Matt Hancock is about to give evidence to a select committee.

    1 reply 1 retweet 3 likes
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  9. Jun 9

    But if she did, it would be the walls of her "Common-ers Room"

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  10. Jun 9

    In fairness, The Queen doesn't have a picture of any of you on her walls. 🙄

    2 replies 6 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    Jun 8

    723 replies 25,696 retweets 237,384 likes
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  12. Jun 8

    Three parrots in a cage - one on the bottom perch, one on the middle perch, one on the top perch. Which parrot owns the cage? The one on the bottom. The other two are on higher-perches.

    3 likes
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  13. Jun 8

    Funny how expectations rise when a project costs $37bn over two years. For that money, I for one thought the app would be able to test, trace, cure, immunise and fellate the user as it does so.

    Dido Harding defends test and trace and says expectations too high
    1 retweet 3 likes
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  14. Jun 8

    Seems the outage is with - this could be a very expensive day for a lot of people....

    1 like
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  15. Jun 8

    Bezos forgot to put 50p in the meter.

    1 like
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  16. Jun 8

    Amazon is down!

    1 like
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  17. Jun 8

    **or some demarcation of the park run/dog walking perimeter?

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  18. Jun 8

    If criminal behaviour from your youth now makes you cancellable, I hope noone finds my teenage record collection.

    1 reply 4 likes
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  19. Jun 8

    *perhaps some "thank you funding" for the improved security we've begged for?

    1 reply 1 like
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  20. Jun 7

    There was no way I was going to book a foreign holiday this year. It was quite obvious this was going to happen. That said - most people booked on the basis that there would be 7 days on a "watch list" before any changes. What happened to that?

    1 reply 3 likes
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  21. Jun 7

    How DARE the government use the AZ vaccine as an excuse for cutting foreign aid. Gaslighting arseholes.

    4 likes
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