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chrissymeds's profile
Christine Medrano
Christine Medrano
Christine Medrano
@chrissymeds

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Christine Medrano

@chrissymeds

I'm a comic and I am not sad at all. Follow me on https://www.instagram.com/chrissymeds/ 

your mom and dad's house
christinemedrano.com
Joined November 2009

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    Christine Medrano‏ @chrissymeds 27 Sep 2018

    Officer: Have you been drinking tonight? Me: I actually went to Yale and played a ton of sports and a lot of people were my friends and boy, do I love church.

    3:56 pm - 27 Sep 2018
    • 4,500 Retweets
    • 22,936 Likes
    • trash pup Wolfy 🐺 Katy Hansen Conor Maher Marie W ^* Alex Jacobs Kate Meisel Pallavi
    210 replies . 4,500 retweets 22,936 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Tiffany Parks‏ @ThePinesOfRome 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @chrissymeds @jules_su

        And don’t forget: Have YOU been drinking tonight, officer?

        5 replies . 18 retweets 363 likes
      3. Keyser Soze‏ @KeyserSozeBro1 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @ThePinesOfRome @chrissymeds @jules_su

        Yale was the #1 law school. I worked my tail off. I did projects & lifted weights in high school. My fraternity had a dog. I did several unpaid internships.

        1 reply . 3 retweets 81 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. The Eris‏ @ladyerisian 27 Sep 2018
        Replying to @chrissymeds @deviantollam

        Would he accept this evidence in his courtroom?

        2 replies . 2 retweets 31 likes
      3. Tracy Hicks‏ @realtbhicks 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @ladyerisian @chrissymeds @deviantollam

        Depends on who's paying.

        0 replies . 1 retweet 33 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Tony Dub‏ @coybib1 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @chrissymeds @MalcolmNance

        And my daughter said I should pray for you.

        2 replies . 1 retweet 8 likes
      3. LΞǤÏØȠ‏ @L3Gl0N 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @coybib1 @chrissymeds @MalcolmNance

        And my dad taught me how to calendar. Look, officer, do you see “drink and drive” on my calendar? It’s impossible for me to be drinking and driving because it’s not on here anywhere.

        1 reply . 5 retweets 23 likes
      4. Ray Havaneas‏ @havaneas 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @L3Gl0N @coybib1 and

        And even it were, it would be a game of quarters.

        1 reply . 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. LΞǤÏØȠ‏ @L3Gl0N 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @havaneas @coybib1 and

        Everything in life can be described as a game of quarters

        0 replies . 0 retweets 3 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. becky Mc‏ @Becky201Becky 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @chrissymeds

        Officer, I have my calendar with me and as you clearly can see no mention of "drinking" is mentioned today.

        0 replies . 5 retweets 56 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. 84Music1‏ @84Music1 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @chrissymeds

        Officer, as you can see from my pocket calendar, I don’t have any drinking marked for today so... no. Have YOU been drinking?!?! Huh?!?! HAVE YOU?!?!? I like beer! I drink beer!!!! I LIKE BEER!!!

        1 reply . 7 retweets 55 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Wavelene Vontania‏ @spkelly24 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @chrissymeds

        "How many drinks have you had?", "Less than whatever your chart says"

        1 reply . 6 retweets 58 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Tommy Tombs‏ @_TommyTombs_ 27 Sep 2018
        Replying to @chrissymeds

        Oh, and I have a calendar that says I haven't. PLUS I am friends with many women who have signed this to say I never drink my favorite drink beer.

        1 reply . 0 retweets 22 likes
      3. ¡i!‏ @MadSpire 27 Sep 2018
        Replying to @_TommyTombs_ @chrissymeds

        You'll notice that Good Church Boy also never wrote "church" on his calendars' Sundays either. By his own logic, he never went to mass.

        0 replies . 4 retweets 5 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Twooods‏ @jcdriver29 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @chrissymeds @MalcolmNance

        I loved my beer then and love it now, do you black out? ...

        0 replies . 2 retweets 46 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Jackie Jackson‏ @JackieJHello1 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @chrissymeds @bigforkgirl

        “Officer it’s fine because it is a weekday and we were at Timmy’s house” ~Brett Kavanaugh #KavanaughHearings

        1 reply . 4 retweets 27 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. trump's BOSS 2020 Be Blue 🌊  🌊‏ @NeverTrump1214 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @chrissymeds

        pic.twitter.com/tcFY5KroNd

        1 reply . 1 retweet 8 likes
      3. A Yankee in QE2's Court‏ @Hebrides422 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @NeverTrump1214 @chrissymeds

        I'm curious. Do you think his parents are looking at him with dismay? Embarrassment? They know he's lying and he's trying to weasel his way out of this humiliating situation? Or are they frowning because they feel sorry for their boy who's getting picked on by the BAD DEMS?

        3 replies . 1 retweet 2 likes
      4. *GYNARCHY 👑 💃NOW! CH 💃CKS rule #TeamPelosi‏ @aspiringinvntor 29 Sep 2018
        Replying to @Hebrides422 @NeverTrump1214 @chrissymeds

        I think even his wife at some point, looked kind of mortified but tried to hide it...eg, when he stayed on the I love beer mantra. I wouldn't be surprised that he's taken out rages on her over the time they've been married. His ilk thinks that you CAN'T rape your wife--wink-wink

        0 replies . 1 retweet 3 likes
      5. End of conversation

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