Chris Hawes

@chrishawes

Perfect nose. Software developer. Avid SCUBA diver. Interested in security, DevOps culture and front-end tooling. Views are my own, especially when I'm drunk.

Bristol, England
chrishawes.net
Joined December 2006
554 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Aug 23

    What else will I mispronounce today. 🤦‍♀️

    3 replies
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  2. Aug 17

    Mallorcan fire hydrant will haunt your dreams.

    1 reply 2 likes
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  3. Retweeted
    Aug 15

    For anyone who doesn’t get the A-levels results they needed today, please don’t worry. I am a senior member of the Government with responsibility for reshaping the countries entire trade strategy and I have literally no clue what I’m doing.

    304 replies 10,000 retweets 32,638 likes
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  4. Aug 16

    “All I want is pancakes”

    1 like
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  5. Aug 16

    “Just no”

    1 reply 1 like
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  6. Aug 16

    “Give me French fries forever”

    1 reply 1 like
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  7. Aug 16

    “My best email”

    1 reply 1 like
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  8. Aug 16

    Things I’ve seen written on clothing in Majorca. 👇

    2 replies 2 likes
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  9. Aug 15

    NO!

    2 replies 2 likes
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  10. Aug 14

    Do I?

    2 replies 3 likes
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  11. Aug 13

    Hello ! Did I hear you’ve moved office?! If so, has the address for paying in cheques changed? It’s still 230 City Road in the app.

    1 reply
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  12. Aug 11

    I AM MARRIED

    8 replies 1 retweet 25 likes
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  13. Aug 10

    I’M GETTING MARRIED TODAY

    11 replies 1 retweet 21 likes
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  14. Aug 9

    This is a Tope Shark, they’re considered vulnerable. Handling sharks can cause internal, external and psychological damage. Often after being handled sharks don’t survive. Farage, what a prick.

    Depressed over Brexit. Went fishing.
    1 reply
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  15. Aug 8

    Historically, this doesn’t work so well. 🇪🇺

    Accounts like Jones' can often sensationalize issues and spread unsubstantiated rumors, so it’s critical journalists document, validate, and refute such information directly so people can form their own opinions. This is what serves the public conversation best.
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  16. Aug 7

    Hello?

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  17. Aug 3

    🤬 Idiots 🤬 “However, it appeared disorientated and they dragged it up the beach over "fears for its life", lifeguards said. They later revealed the shark died as they took it out of the water.”

    1 reply
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  18. Aug 2

    One trillion dollars… for a company. 😂

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  19. Retweeted
    Jul 31

    The word “refactoring” should never appear in a schedule. Refactoring is not a story or a backlog item. Refactoring is not a scheduled task. Refactoring is immediate and continuous. It’s like washing your hands in the bathroom. You always do it.

    92 replies 2,320 retweets 4,057 likes
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  20. Retweeted
    Jul 30

    idea: a Slack app that lets people vote on whether each use of '@-here' or '@-channel' was justified and those who score <20% justified in the past week are banned from using it the following week

    14 replies 84 retweets 367 likes
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