I don't know why I have such strong feelings that it's totally appropriate for a group of people to have a conversation at a group table in a coffee shop but obnoxious when a person has an extended phone conversation and doesn't step away?
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[Honestly, and I know the armies will come after me, but .... it's mainly straight white guys who do the "talk on the phone at a group table" thing, in my experience, and that's a part of it.]
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Breaking: A white guy DMs to tell me I’m being unfair to straight white guys — inserting inaccurately into my tweet that I was “attributing all table phone talking to ‘straight white guys’” — and asked, “What is it that only gay alcoholics do?”
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Only thing, I’m a recovering alcoholic, so I don’t know if that changes the answer. ... And, I’m bipolar, too, if you want to really go for it.
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Anyway, the point was that I think those who feel more comfortable claiming all spaces as their own feel more comfortable speaking on phones in group settings. And, despite white guy’s sadness I made that insinuation, it is what I’ve seen and I think it’s likely true overall.
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My take 1) people get louder on a phone. 2) group convos are inclusive. phone convos are excluding.
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I do think 1 is part of it — based on the totally hypothetical circumstances going on right now.
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It's weird but I'm convinced the fact that they're talking to an unseen person not present in the room causes a great deal of the discomfort, for reasons I can't explain. Some kind of human thing.
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My take...my take only: The people I observe (and HEAR) talking in such a setting invariably has "set up shop". Papers, computer, desk paraphernalia--- + LOUD talk. In a group of people, there's a muffled sound...voices over voices. No one is screaming across the table
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Yes, just as it is obnoxious and rude for someone to stay on a call while in the checkout line at the grocery store.
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I catch myself doing this too and I really don't think there is any rational reason we are more angry at a person talking on the phone. If it's a public place like a coffee shop, it really shouldn't matter.
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