So, I started dealing with it. I talked to people, I found help, I stopped drinking, and — eventually — I changed my way of living.
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So, now, instead of spending money blacking out and regretting my actions, I spend money seeing amazing performances of amazing shows. Win.
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And, no, not all of it is easy. Are there times I miss it? Sure. Early on, there were lots of times. Even now, there are moments. But ...
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I just remember how small my world had gotten, how predictable (drunken mess) AND unpredictable (anything could happen) things were.
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And, it's a similar thing for me when it comes to momentary desires to drink when things are bad or stressful or whatever.
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I recall what many people have said to me, and it is so true for me: There's nothing wrong in my life that a drink wouldn't make worse.
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And the corollary, for me, also is true: There's nothing so good in my life that a drink couldn't ruin it.
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And so, as I enter my 2,001st day without drinking, my life is pretty amazing. I am full of gratitude for this gift I've been given.
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I live a life full of love, passion, & purpose, & I'm surrounded by amazing people. I want to do all I can to help myself stay on that path.
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I know there's nothing about my sobriety or life that is permanent, so I will continue moving forward as I've done for the past 2,000 days.
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Full of gratitude, hope, and (as I constantly try to remind myself) humility — one day at a time.
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Not just one day at a time — but also by constantly asking for help and being honest with myself and to others about where I'm at mentally.
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So little of this ~me~ that exists today is actually about me. Everyone in my life who deals with me and helps me is, truly, to thank.
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And, in that, I have been truly blessed w incredibly wonderful people in my life long before I was ready to get sober — and certainly since.
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There's always more to say about this topic — it really is about gratitude for my life — but I'm going to end it here for now.
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My DMs are open, though, & my email is in my bio. Please do feel free to reach out. ... And, everyone, thanks for reading. Y'all are great.
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Overwhelmed with gratitude for y'all tonight — thanks much — but it's time for sleep. ... Night, all, and let us be good to one another.
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@chrisgeidner I once read Kirstie Alley spends as much $$ per week on fresh flowers for her house as she did on cocaine before going sober. - End of conversation
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