i mostly avoid improv bc i have a fragile ego, i’m averse to the other stuff bc feel like i’m liable to hurt other people’s feelings recently i’ve struggled with two identifiable flavors of these conversations: - adversarial / conflict - delivering bad or inconvenient news
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
by reactiveness i usually mean the angry, judgmental, adolescent lashing-out type of emotional reactiveness—i try to suppress that from my outward presentation and i think that’s the correct strategy
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
and the disingenuous thing mostly relates to “bad news” conversations e.g. if i make a decision that will make someone else sad, and i don’t choose my words optimally the first time around, then i don’t really get a do-over if i’m not interpreted how i’d like to be
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Replying to @SeanMombo
wrt angry reactiveness, i don’t think my uncharitable reactions are an accurate reflection of my self (or my aspirational self?) and given a little time to simmer down or vent in private, i often conclude that those judgments were misguided/incomplete anyway
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Replying to @choosy_mom
I gtg to bed. But first I’ll fire these off at u: Do you need to maintain your identity? My interpretation of ego is identity, so it sounds like both emotions and improv are blocked by ego. Who are you when you’re doing improv?
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Replying to @SeanMombo
chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted chad donkey from shrek 2
i don’t feel compelled to maintain my identity—in fact i try to actively develop it in directions that i like however i think of ego as a distinct thing from identity, which i do try to protect and “maintain” (this is closer to the real blocker, i think)https://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1218978348069638146 …
chad donkey from shrek 2 added,
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
my ego is powered by selective attention (when i brush against insecurity i avert my eyes and bail) and massive amounts of external validation, which i know is unhealthy and probably unsustainable in the long run
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Replying to @choosy_mom
blue dog Retweeted blue dog
Ill rephrase: Ego is what maintains identity. It wants control. Selective attention and selective reasoning are 2 ways the ego hijacks intellect to maintain identity External validation substantiates identity, so ego seeks it out have u read this?https://twitter.com/SeanMombo/status/1233431568573718530?s=20 …
blue dog added,
blue dog @SeanMombo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yogic Anatomy of the Mind* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ Manas - Emotions/Judgement ~ Ahamkara - Ego/"I" ~ Buddhi - Intelligence/Analysis ~ Citta - Unconscious/Sky of the Mind ~ Samskara - Unprocessed Trauma *according to@HealthyGamerGG Examples down below. pic.twitter.com/SmwmkWFyM8Show this thread1 reply 0 retweets 1 like -
Replying to @SeanMombo @choosy_mom
blue dog Retweeted chad donkey from shrek 2
Identity is largely at the mercy of other people. Rereading your responses shows a repeated theme. "I don't want to be perceived 'incorrectly' by other people." Do you need to control the way other people perceive you? Please lmk if you disagreehttps://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1265513831192821762?s=20 …
blue dog added,
chad donkey from shrek 2 @choosy_momReplying to @choosy_mom @SeanMomboand the disingenuous thing mostly relates to “bad news” conversations e.g. if i make a decision that will make someone else sad, and i don’t choose my words optimally the first time around, then i don’t really get a do-over if i’m not interpreted how i’d like to be1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted chad donkey from shrek 2
yeah i think that’s pretty much it. i have a desire to be perceived in a variety of ways (self-aware, supportive, wise, competent, funny) and i’m good at generating that image i intrinsically enjoy being some of those things, but i’m trying to unlearn the controlling/needy parthttps://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1239940290921648131 …
chad donkey from shrek 2 added,
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