Why must you talk slower? What do you get in exchange for the speed?
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Replying to @SeanMombo
i wish i could exchange speed for improved performance, but in emotionally weighty conversations i mostly slow down bc i feel like i need to consider the impact of my individual word choice with a lot more scrutiny
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
if i misspeak or overextend in casual object level conversation, i can easily retract stuff or qualify myself in “hard conversations” i worry a lot that i can’t just say i picked the wrong word in haste, otherwise it might seem like i’m being disingenuous or reactive
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Replying to @choosy_mom
It sounds like you’re afraid of being perceived as reactive or disingenuous. Is that how improv makes you feel too? When did you learn it was bad to be reactive? Was there a time someone thought you were being disingenuous?
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Replying to @SeanMombo
i mostly avoid improv bc i have a fragile ego, i’m averse to the other stuff bc feel like i’m liable to hurt other people’s feelings recently i’ve struggled with two identifiable flavors of these conversations: - adversarial / conflict - delivering bad or inconvenient news
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
by reactiveness i usually mean the angry, judgmental, adolescent lashing-out type of emotional reactiveness—i try to suppress that from my outward presentation and i think that’s the correct strategy
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
and the disingenuous thing mostly relates to “bad news” conversations e.g. if i make a decision that will make someone else sad, and i don’t choose my words optimally the first time around, then i don’t really get a do-over if i’m not interpreted how i’d like to be
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Replying to @SeanMombo
wrt angry reactiveness, i don’t think my uncharitable reactions are an accurate reflection of my self (or my aspirational self?) and given a little time to simmer down or vent in private, i often conclude that those judgments were misguided/incomplete anyway
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Replying to @choosy_mom
I gtg to bed. But first I’ll fire these off at u: Do you need to maintain your identity? My interpretation of ego is identity, so it sounds like both emotions and improv are blocked by ego. Who are you when you’re doing improv?
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chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted chad donkey from shrek 2
i don’t feel compelled to maintain my identity—in fact i try to actively develop it in directions that i like however i think of ego as a distinct thing from identity, which i do try to protect and “maintain” (this is closer to the real blocker, i think)https://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1218978348069638146 …
chad donkey from shrek 2 added,
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
my ego is powered by selective attention (when i brush against insecurity i avert my eyes and bail) and massive amounts of external validation, which i know is unhealthy and probably unsustainable in the long run
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Replying to @choosy_mom
blue dog Retweeted blue dog
Ill rephrase: Ego is what maintains identity. It wants control. Selective attention and selective reasoning are 2 ways the ego hijacks intellect to maintain identity External validation substantiates identity, so ego seeks it out have u read this?https://twitter.com/SeanMombo/status/1233431568573718530?s=20 …
blue dog added,
blue dog @SeanMombo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yogic Anatomy of the Mind* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ Manas - Emotions/Judgement ~ Ahamkara - Ego/"I" ~ Buddhi - Intelligence/Analysis ~ Citta - Unconscious/Sky of the Mind ~ Samskara - Unprocessed Trauma *according to@HealthyGamerGG Examples down below. pic.twitter.com/SmwmkWFyM8Show this thread1 reply 0 retweets 1 like - 2 more replies
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