Why must you talk slower? What do you get in exchange for the speed?
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Replying to @SeanMombo
i wish i could exchange speed for improved performance, but in emotionally weighty conversations i mostly slow down bc i feel like i need to consider the impact of my individual word choice with a lot more scrutiny
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
if i misspeak or overextend in casual object level conversation, i can easily retract stuff or qualify myself in “hard conversations” i worry a lot that i can’t just say i picked the wrong word in haste, otherwise it might seem like i’m being disingenuous or reactive
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Replying to @choosy_mom
It sounds like you’re afraid of being perceived as reactive or disingenuous. Is that how improv makes you feel too? When did you learn it was bad to be reactive? Was there a time someone thought you were being disingenuous?
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Replying to @SeanMombo
i mostly avoid improv bc i have a fragile ego, i’m averse to the other stuff bc feel like i’m liable to hurt other people’s feelings recently i’ve struggled with two identifiable flavors of these conversations: - adversarial / conflict - delivering bad or inconvenient news
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
by reactiveness i usually mean the angry, judgmental, adolescent lashing-out type of emotional reactiveness—i try to suppress that from my outward presentation and i think that’s the correct strategy
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
and the disingenuous thing mostly relates to “bad news” conversations e.g. if i make a decision that will make someone else sad, and i don’t choose my words optimally the first time around, then i don’t really get a do-over if i’m not interpreted how i’d like to be
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Replying to @SeanMombo
wrt angry reactiveness, i don’t think my uncharitable reactions are an accurate reflection of my self (or my aspirational self?) and given a little time to simmer down or vent in private, i often conclude that those judgments were misguided/incomplete anyway
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
I think they are accurate reflections of some part of your self.
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definitely, i try to write about it and talk about it in safe, low stakes environments i think i’d like to be more disagreeable, but i’m not convinced it’s a good thing for me to let my negative-judgmental self off the leash entirely
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