i learned mainly by talking too much lol but basically i’ve spent thousands of hours arguing and pontificating with friends in a wide variety of domains over time you learn how to string together ideas and relationships by growing your arsenal of metaphors and turns of phrase
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by reactiveness i usually mean the angry, judgmental, adolescent lashing-out type of emotional reactiveness—i try to suppress that from my outward presentation and i think that’s the correct strategy
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and the disingenuous thing mostly relates to “bad news” conversations e.g. if i make a decision that will make someone else sad, and i don’t choose my words optimally the first time around, then i don’t really get a do-over if i’m not interpreted how i’d like to be
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If you argue with your friends, I that conflict?
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i’d say i logged the majority of my hours in really close and secure friendships, so disagreements felt a lot more like improv i suppose i define *conflict* as disagreements where there are potentially feelings and relationships at stake
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