i def still talk too much—i think it became especially tempting when i gained enough verbal fluency to be able to ramble indefinitely mainly i’m saying this bc i think people underestimate how much more power an articulate person’s words can hold when they show restraint
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Replying to @choosy_mom
Wait yo tell me everything you know and how you learned it. From the top! You speak of powers I do yet not possess. I can ramble, but I’d like to get faster at explaining myself more clearly
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Replying to @SeanMombo
i learned mainly by talking too much lol but basically i’ve spent thousands of hours arguing and pontificating with friends in a wide variety of domains over time you learn how to string together ideas and relationships by growing your arsenal of metaphors and turns of phrase
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
i think it’s a lot like learning an instrument, where unfamiliar scales and keys are analogous to new words or metaphors interestingly, i’m way slower and less decisive with my words when i’m trying to write; in school i’d sometimes dictate my papers when i needed to move fast
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Replying to @choosy_mom
Oh now that is a cool way of looking at it. I understand. So to practice. I need to do improv. Yes of course. It always comes back to improv. If I wanna get fast at being articulate, then I need to run some drills and practice some scenarios.
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Replying to @SeanMombo @choosy_mom
I would like to do some mock interviews and nail down my ability to talk about myself professionally. Hmmm I would like to sign up for professional improv practice.
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Replying to @SeanMombo
do it! i’ve been considering trying improv for like a year, but i’ve been dragging my feet (it’s definitely bc fear and insecurity) which reminds me of another wrinkle here—the stuff that i get tongue tied about is basically always related to negative emotions
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Replying to @choosy_mom @SeanMombo
the last few times i was really at a loss for words was when i had to have tough emotional conversations i’m paralyzingly conflict avoidant, and when i’m forced to open up those situations it feels like my word machine operates at like 10-30% capacity
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Replying to @choosy_mom
Why must you talk slower? What do you get in exchange for the speed?
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Replying to @SeanMombo
i wish i could exchange speed for improved performance, but in emotionally weighty conversations i mostly slow down bc i feel like i need to consider the impact of my individual word choice with a lot more scrutiny
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if i misspeak or overextend in casual object level conversation, i can easily retract stuff or qualify myself in “hard conversations” i worry a lot that i can’t just say i picked the wrong word in haste, otherwise it might seem like i’m being disingenuous or reactive
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Replying to @choosy_mom
It sounds like you’re afraid of being perceived as reactive or disingenuous. Is that how improv makes you feel too? When did you learn it was bad to be reactive? Was there a time someone thought you were being disingenuous?
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Replying to @SeanMombo
i mostly avoid improv bc i have a fragile ego, i’m averse to the other stuff bc feel like i’m liable to hurt other people’s feelings recently i’ve struggled with two identifiable flavors of these conversations: - adversarial / conflict - delivering bad or inconvenient news
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