i was basically the only chinese kid in my midwestern suburb, and over the last several years i think i’ve exorcised a lot of the racial self-resentment i grew up with
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Replying to @choosy_mom
did you do this [exorcism] intentionally? I've found it hard to unbundle racial self-resentment and a desire to be unique/special/etc
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Replying to @chiefofstuffs
fairly intentionally—in college i spent a bunch of time in asia, read a handful of books, wrote about it, and had a couple of race enlightened mentors and yeah, i def relate w the tension between drive for individuality vs. racial acceptance
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Replying to @choosy_mom @chiefofstuffs
i haven’t totally sorted it out, but the way i want to frame it is like: - uniqueness isn’t actually zero sum - white people strive to be special but if they’re successful it doesn’t reflect on the race - the things that make you unique don’t have to be *in spite of* being asian
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Replying to @choosy_mom
I think where I'm at right now is uniqueness isn't zero sum locally, but it is globally? like everyone is super special to their parents but on average (and definitionally) most people are pretty basic
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Replying to @chiefofstuffs @choosy_mom
and yeah I think the `doesn't have to be unique in spite of being asian` has been the hard part. making yourself unique has to be counter to something on reflection it's amusing that things I did to rebel (e.g., raves) were just a different shape, same flavor
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Replying to @chiefofstuffs @choosy_mom
I think where I want to get to is accepting that I won't be globally unique but I can be special to people that I care about
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imo, expecting to be ~globally~ unique or universally admired is an unattainable bar even for really high functioning people (and it’s also prob not the solution for the self-resentment thing anyway)
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Replying to @choosy_mom @chiefofstuffs
chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted chad donkey from shrek 2
and i agree 100% about being special/important only to a limited tribe of people even on a small scale, fame can be really bad for the psyche, but making unique/invaluable contributions to a cohesive community is literally how we’re supposed to create meaninghttps://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1222292688038285312 …
chad donkey from shrek 2 added,
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