i’ve spent a lot of time learning how to identify + talk about my emotions and complexes and insecurities i also learned how to direct that conversation outward—how to ask probing questions and open up sensitive, identity-related topics with other people
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this vulnerability stuff gives real meaning to your interactions/relationships, and generally it’s very rewarding to develop introspection once you get pretty good at the self-awareness conversation, some people start to (perhaps mistakenly) view you as a *self-aware person*
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this felt really nice when it started happening to me—it motivated to have more meaningful dialogues with myself and the people i cared about but also, to some nontrivial extent, my vulnerability started to become performative
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i began to think of myself as a self-aware person, who could help others become self-aware as well when i expressed vulnerability it seemed like progress—although it made me acutely aware of my flaws and insecurities, it felt good to admit these things about myselfhttps://twitter.com/msutherl/status/1238900937940324352 …
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basically i would tell people, in increasingly open and articulate ways: “this is how i’m fucked up, and i’m working on it” but really i wasn’t working on it—it just felt good to perform a vulnerable character, take on a self-aware identityhttps://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1218978348069638146 …
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it’s become clear to me that i’ve often used self-awareness as an excuse, a convenient delusion while it can certainly be productive to unearth trauma and contemplate your aspirational self, that work is meaningless if you’re afraid to embody the values that spring from ithttps://twitter.com/danlistensto/status/1216778132361039873 …
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Performing self awareness and going meta can both be *fun* too, easy for that to reinforce the pattern
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this is *very* relatable, you might find this essay very interestinghttps://twitter.com/caeochoa/status/1139934348491272192?s=21 …
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