"Be attractive to the people you want to be attractive to" so who do I want to be attractive to? let's explore :)
what i meant is: i think this is wrong for me bc in reality i *am* needy, maybe not more than other people, but i do have needs wrt connection/affection, and i think it might be unproductive to conceal those
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oh! I'm not saying being non-needy will conceal your needs - I'm saying it will conceal your neediness ie. you'd be able to convey "I need X" without conveying "I'm needy"
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where "neediness" roughly means "I need X + if you don't provide X, I will take is as rejection, not as mere refusal"
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