"Be attractive to the people you want to be attractive to" so who do I want to be attractive to? let's explore :)
-
Show this thread
-
people who read a lot. books, blogs, newsletters, whatever. Mostly because I see written word as a major tool for building common knowledge (and I want to be able to say "oooh, defs read [20,000 blog series on the topic]" and have this not be an impossible task
1 reply 0 retweets 3 likesShow this thread -
People who are compassionate, friendly, and caring in a non-needy way. i.e there's a certain type of "OMG let's be Friends!!!" that turns me off because 1). i think it's fake enthusiasm (typical minding?) and 2). i read it as secretly desperate / "I can't be disliked!"
2 replies 0 retweets 1 likeShow this thread -
Replying to @natural_hazard
chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted Oranges (closed)
agreed. there’s an interesting tension between - making an effort to communicate non-needyness - trying authentically to express your admiration for someone or desire to be friendshttps://twitter.com/TheOrangeAlt/status/1226649686959890433 …
chad donkey from shrek 2 added,
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes -
Replying to @choosy_mom @natural_hazard
my tentative hypothesis nowadays is that if you're not needy, you will somehow, automatically, magically be able to convey that you're not needy - no effort necessary
2 replies 0 retweets 1 like -
would be glad to hear about counterexamples though
1 reply 0 retweets 1 like -
well, what do I mean by "glad" I would be unhappy to hear about counterexamples, because who likes being wrong. but bring them anyway
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes -
Replying to @TheOrangeAlt @natural_hazard
i think this is wrong, though i can’t disagree from experience—i also operate under a fairly strict non-neediness directive mainly i suspect that my fear of expressing neediness is preventing me from attaining some of the vulnerability and intimacy i would ideally like to have
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes -
Replying to @choosy_mom @natural_hazard
wrong as in "even if you're not needy you still might come across as needy without wanting to?"
1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
not exactly, though i do think that’s also the case—we communicate a lot more than we’re consciously aware of, and sensitive people can often pick up on it
-
-
what i meant is: i think this is wrong for me bc in reality i *am* needy, maybe not more than other people, but i do have needs wrt connection/affection, and i think it might be unproductive to conceal those
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes -
Replying to @choosy_mom @natural_hazard
oh! I'm not saying being non-needy will conceal your needs - I'm saying it will conceal your neediness ie. you'd be able to convey "I need X" without conveying "I'm needy"
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes - 3 more replies
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
