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choosy_mom's profile
chad donkey from shrek 2
chad donkey from shrek 2
chad donkey from shrek 2
@choosy_mom

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chad donkey from shrek 2

@choosy_mom

poast structuralist, meesa rationalist, emotional hypercapitalist, ardent anti-insight crusader ⚔️

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Joined December 2017

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    1. Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)‏ @natural_hazard Feb 17
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      "Be attractive to the people you want to be attractive to" so who do I want to be attractive to? let's explore :)

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
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    2. Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)‏ @natural_hazard Feb 17
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      people who read a lot. books, blogs, newsletters, whatever. Mostly because I see written word as a major tool for building common knowledge (and I want to be able to say "oooh, defs read [20,000 blog series on the topic]" and have this not be an impossible task

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
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    3. Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)‏ @natural_hazard Feb 17
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      People who are compassionate, friendly, and caring in a non-needy way. i.e there's a certain type of "OMG let's be Friends!!!" that turns me off because 1). i think it's fake enthusiasm (typical minding?) and 2). i read it as secretly desperate / "I can't be disliked!"

      2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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    4. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Feb 18
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      Replying to @natural_hazard

      chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted Oranges (closed)

      agreed. there’s an interesting tension between - making an effort to communicate non-needyness - trying authentically to express your admiration for someone or desire to be friendshttps://twitter.com/TheOrangeAlt/status/1226649686959890433 …

      chad donkey from shrek 2 added,

      Oranges (closed) @TheOrangeAlt
      Replying to @TheOrangeAlt @choosy_mom
      come to think of it, I'm trying now and I can't imagine a scenario where I feel it could be appropriate for me to say or even hint at "I want to be friends"
      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    5. Oranges (closed)‏ @TheOrangeAlt Feb 18
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      Replying to @choosy_mom @natural_hazard

      my tentative hypothesis nowadays is that if you're not needy, you will somehow, automatically, magically be able to convey that you're not needy - no effort necessary

      2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
    6. Oranges (closed)‏ @TheOrangeAlt Feb 18
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      Replying to @TheOrangeAlt @choosy_mom @natural_hazard

      would be glad to hear about counterexamples though

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    7. Oranges (closed)‏ @TheOrangeAlt Feb 18
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      Replying to @TheOrangeAlt @choosy_mom @natural_hazard

      well, what do I mean by "glad" I would be unhappy to hear about counterexamples, because who likes being wrong. but bring them anyway

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    8. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Feb 18
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      Replying to @TheOrangeAlt @natural_hazard

      i think this is wrong, though i can’t disagree from experience—i also operate under a fairly strict non-neediness directive mainly i suspect that my fear of expressing neediness is preventing me from attaining some of the vulnerability and intimacy i would ideally like to have

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    9. Oranges (closed)‏ @TheOrangeAlt Feb 18
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      Replying to @choosy_mom @natural_hazard

      wrong as in "even if you're not needy you still might come across as needy without wanting to?"

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Feb 18
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      Replying to @TheOrangeAlt @natural_hazard

      not exactly, though i do think that’s also the case—we communicate a lot more than we’re consciously aware of, and sensitive people can often pick up on it

      1:49 PM - 18 Feb 2020
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      • leah parr Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)
      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Feb 18
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          Replying to @choosy_mom @TheOrangeAlt @natural_hazard

          what i meant is: i think this is wrong for me bc in reality i *am* needy, maybe not more than other people, but i do have needs wrt connection/affection, and i think it might be unproductive to conceal those

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Oranges (closed)‏ @TheOrangeAlt Feb 18
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          Replying to @choosy_mom @natural_hazard

          oh! I'm not saying being non-needy will conceal your needs - I'm saying it will conceal your neediness ie. you'd be able to convey "I need X" without conveying "I'm needy"

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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