No matter how much we strive to represent ourselves and interpret each other accurately, we’re unavoidably limited to incomplete mental models of each otherhttps://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1226651994003099649 …
-
Show this thread
-
My model of you will differ from your model of yourself Your best friend’s model of you will differ from your worst enemy’s Your mom’s model of you will differ from your dad’s
2 replies 0 retweets 4 likesShow this thread -
These models are informed by our fragmentary experiences with other people—and more importantly, our models are shaded by how we *perceive* those fragmentary experiences
1 reply 0 retweets 1 likeShow this thread -
A common failure mode occurs when we subconsciously interpret people uncharitably, for example: - How they dress - Who they’re friends with - That story they told about something that happened at work - The micro-expression they made when you made that comment about their job
1 reply 0 retweets 2 likesShow this thread -
chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted chad donkey from shrek 2
Uncharitable judgments are a ‘quick and dirty’ way to create an in-group and generate status Executed correctly, communicating negative judgment is socially rewarded in larger group scenarioshttps://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1224489248696365056 …
chad donkey from shrek 2 added,
1 reply 0 retweets 4 likesShow this thread -
Over time, this social feedback loop primes us to lean towards uncharitable interpretations Innocent jostling calcifies into general cynicism, and you end up in a society full of distrustful people with a weak/nonexistent sense of out-group empathy
1 reply 0 retweets 1 likeShow this thread -
One solution is to widen your in-group umbrella to encompass as many people as possible This can be fruitful, but it also demands a lot of updating and definition-setting More importantly, it still requires you to establish an out-group
1 reply 0 retweets 1 likeShow this thread -
chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted Visakan Veerasamy
A better solution is to hack your charitable vs. uncharitable interpretive tendencies It’s difficult (maybe impossible) to turn off your negative-judgmental brain, but you can make a conscious effort to assume best intentions and love your out-grouphttps://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1223254341173121024 …
chad donkey from shrek 2 added,
1 reply 0 retweets 8 likesShow this thread -
chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted chad donkey from shrek 2
If you perform this good faith character long enough, you become an *actually* generous and thoughtful perceiver of other peoplehttps://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1221682547756691458 …
chad donkey from shrek 2 added,
chad donkey from shrek 2 @choosy_momespecially irl, your identity is shaped profoundly by your mannerisms and verbal style new communication styles and habits can be difficult to pick up, but they are absolutely trainable—actors do this professionally https://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1221681102638567424?s=21 … https://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1221681102638567424 …Show this thread1 reply 0 retweets 5 likesShow this thread
This strategy pays dividends for rationalists, social climbers, AND empaths: 1. More realistic models of other people (we all interpret ourselves charitably) 2. Durable social status (not contingent on scorning an out-group) 3. Happy relationships (people like you—good vibes!)
-
-
Replying to @choosy_mom
1 & 2 & 3 -> easier to be more charitable and kind, feel more secure of place in the world -> positive loop!
0 replies 0 retweets 1 likeThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
