hey, when did you last drink a cup of water? i bet you could use one right now in fact, i challenge you to get yourself >8oz of water and drink it right this moment
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It's either diet Coke or coffee. There are no other choices
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Also AIUI it's not actually the case that these things dehydrate you. What they do is hydrate you but also lower your body's set point for how much water you're supposed to contain - if you're super dehydrated, drinking coke or coffee or something is still hydrating.
End of conversation
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