noticed that when I go through someone's timeline and like several tweets in a row, I get scared they will think: a) that I want them to notice; or even b) that I want to be friends with them. ...jesus christ. how the fuck did *this* become an illegitimate thing to want
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Replying to @TheOrangeAlt
chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted chad donkey from shrek 2
I think it has something to do with this ‘burning social capital’ thing But it seems to be mainly rooted in self-consciousness (i.e. other people don’t always interpret the status shift the same way) And evidently, it doesn’t totally disappear when your identity is concealedhttps://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1225179899075297281 …
chad donkey from shrek 2 added,
chad donkey from shrek 2 @choosy_momit also bums me out how difficult it can be to sincerely compliment someone for some reason, complimenting people can sometimes feel disingenuous, or like you’re burning social capital doesn’t quite jive with the cooperative species hypothesis—still trying to unravel this https://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1224489248696365056 …1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes -
Replying to @choosy_mom
it's plausible in general, but in my case it seems to be about the implicit relationship between me and the other person, not about the social capital ie. I'm afraid that the other person will see me as [something] and become disgusted
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Replying to @TheOrangeAlt @choosy_mom
come to think of it, I'm trying now and I can't imagine a scenario where I feel it could be appropriate for me to say or even hint at "I want to be friends"
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Replying to @TheOrangeAlt
Yeah it’s the kind of thing you have to express subtextually, otherwise it’s cringe
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Replying to @choosy_mom
yeah. and *then* the problem is not that I can't hint - but that I treat all hints as completely obvious. (because of course everybody can see into my head)
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Replying to @TheOrangeAlt
Do you treat your communicated hints as obvious, or do you misinterpret/fail to pick up other people’s hints?
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Replying to @choosy_mom
in this case I meant that I treat my communicated hints as obvious. or even if I don't communicate anything I still assume people just see all the bad stuff somehow
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So in the context of the original post, do you have a desire for people *not* to pick up on your hints that you are intrigued by their writing/want to be their friend? Asking myself this Q, I think my answer is “Yes, and it comes from fear of rejection and feeling unworthy”
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Replying to @choosy_mom
my answer is "yes, and it comes from fear of looking needy" which in turn comes from feeling that I *am* needy but have to hide it from everyone.
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Replying to @TheOrangeAlt @choosy_mom
well, almost everyone. somehow it's alright to talk to my friends about how I feel lonely all the time, but online it's of PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE that I present myself as a totally self-sufficient person
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