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choosy_mom's profile
chad donkey from shrek 2
chad donkey from shrek 2
chad donkey from shrek 2
@choosy_mom

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chad donkey from shrek 2

@choosy_mom

poast structuralist, meesa rationalist, emotional hypercapitalist, ardent anti-insight crusader ⚔️

sf
Joined December 2017

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    1. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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      You've probably heard of Dunbar's number before—he's the evolutionary psychologist who hypothesized that ~150 people is the "cognitive limit to the number of individuals with whom any one person can maintain stable relationships"

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    2. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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      Dunbar's number is a perennial pop psychology headline (You Can Only Have 150 Friends!?! 😱), but in my experience, most people view it to be a pretty plausible theory for social relationspic.twitter.com/3f4wgkO0xC

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    3. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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      This phenomenon is an emergent property—or an intentional organizational principle—of many kinds of social coordination systems (e.g. villages, academia, military, corporations)pic.twitter.com/J2D6Mzs5Fa

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    4. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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      What most people don't know is that Dunbar's number describes only one of the concentric circles of relations surrounding an individual They scale by roughly a factor of 3, and "frequency of contact, emotional closeness, and altruism all decline across successive circles"pic.twitter.com/WqkibcWHKg

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    5. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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      There a lot of ways to define and circumscribe each layer of relationships, but Dunbar roughly describes them as: - primary partner (1.5) - intimate friends (5) - best friends (15) - good friends (50) - 'just' friends (150) - acquaintances (500) - names/faces (1500)pic.twitter.com/AXTv5yo7R6

      1 reply 1 retweet 16 likes
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    6. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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      According to Dunbar, most people spend the majority of their social time and energy inside their first three layerspic.twitter.com/ynBRazUzZs

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    7. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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      This has a lot to do with time scarcity and frequency requirements Most of us contact our primary partners daily, but Dunbar proposes that you need to interact with a friend at least weekly to qualify for the 5-layer, monthly for the 15-layer, and annually for the 150-layerpic.twitter.com/eYIuMvSZBo

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    8. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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      "If someone is contacted less often than the defining rate for more than a few months, emotional closeness will inexorably decline to a level appropriate for the new contact rate" This is why moving, graduate college, etc. suck so much—your entire graph recedes outward

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    9. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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      Romantic relationships also tend to crowd out other Dunbar slots, if only temporarily. Ever had a friend fall in love, then drop off the face of the earth?pic.twitter.com/j8tAD3TkqA

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    10. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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      It's an interesting exercise to try mapping your own social graph onto Dunbar's bullseye configuration—do the circles seem accurate to you? What about interaction frequency v. closeness? How often do you contact your 5-layer friends? 15-layer? 150-layer?

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      chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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      And what about exceptional cases? Do you know someone who might be an outlier here? Someone whose circles are noticeably tighter/broader than the numbers laid out on Dunbar's bullseye? How do these people's habits deviate from the norm? Several examples come to mind...

      2:57 PM - 28 Jan 2020
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      • Charlie Smart 🌻 matthew steven birt कडू af jeremy Thomas W. Rahul Ramchandani ds9 se01ep10 move along home defender illegibleparadise Priya
      2 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
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        2. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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          Dunbar has done similar research with other apes, including chimpanzees, gorillas, and orangutans, among others Interestingly, Dunbar's number for chimpanzees is around 50—a group size at which most observed chimpanzee tribes begin to fracturepic.twitter.com/262dHL5n9x

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        3. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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          Apes maintain group cohesion through 'social grooming', where they pick bugs and debris out of their companions' fur Across species, more grooming enables stronger relationships and larger group sizes The most social non-human apes spend about 20% of their time groomingpic.twitter.com/KPIIzoRwSa

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        4. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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          Humans don't do nearly as much grooming as other apes, and even if we did, we couldn't possibly afford to do it enough to build groups of 150+ individualspic.twitter.com/xenLY6PdbZ

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        5. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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          Enter language: "Not only can speech be combined with almost every other activity, but it can also be used to address several different individuals simultaneously." Compared to physical grooming, language is *insanely* scalable and efficient as a vector for social bondingpic.twitter.com/E26CgvApzN

          1 reply 1 retweet 16 likes
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        6. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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          In addition to gossip/storytelling, humans also facilitate group cohesion through several other unique verbal and sub-verbal activities, including writing, singing, dancing, and laughter Altogether, Dunbar estimates that our tools are 2-3x more effective than social groomingpic.twitter.com/1FhptCCZUZ

          1 reply 1 retweet 14 likes
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        7. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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          chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted chad donkey from shrek 2

          I think language v. grooming is the thing that distinguishes us most from other apes—and the thing that makes it easiest to understand our primate ancestryhttps://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1222251506331553793?s=20 …

          chad donkey from shrek 2 added,

          chad donkey from shrek 2 @choosy_mom
          been thinking a lot about how i’m literally an ape
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        8. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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          While it's impressive to understand how effective we are at creating large social graphs, it's important to remember that human communities are a means to an end: longevity, health, and well-beingpic.twitter.com/6GJSUJIlaz

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        9. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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          chad donkey from shrek 2 Retweeted chad donkey from shrek 2

          The volume/quality of your social relationships is predictive of a wide range of physiological and mental health outcomes—isolation is a sickness in the literal sensehttps://twitter.com/choosy_mom/status/1221616773159505920?s=20 …

          chad donkey from shrek 2 added,

          chad donkey from shrek 2 @choosy_mom
          isolation is a disease and an epidemic
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          1 reply 1 retweet 15 likes
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        10. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Jan 28
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          A lot more to talk about here, but I'll end the thread with this very real graph from Dunbar's 'Anatomy of Friendship' (2017), my favorite academic paper of all time @scienceshitpostpic.twitter.com/PmZIwbdtlK

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        11. End of conversation
        1. New conversation
        2. jeremy‏ @lifeneoned Apr 2
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          Replying to @choosy_mom

          which examples of exceptional cases come to mind for you?

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        3. chad donkey from shrek 2‏ @choosy_mom Apr 2
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          Replying to @lifeneoned

          i’m pretty convinced that college enables a lot of people to have circles greater than 5, 15, 50, 150 etc since it organically enables people to spend an outsize amount of time cultivating their relationships

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