nothing like packing up a whole apartment to make you never want to own an earthly possession ever again
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@chenchenwrites
new chapbook out . two books & . he/δ». abolish the police & free palestineε ε η₯βs Tweets
i used to think self-promotion was a really icky concept & practice, until i realized that the actual self-centered thing is to believe that people will just flock to your work (based on talent/"merit") without you having to say anything about it/support readers in finding it
i miss being regular sad about the world and not like, catastrophically worried and miserably horrified
Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.
βbell hooks
incredible how often it's cis het white people being like "so you're only friends with ppl who share your same political beliefs? must be so boring!" and i'm like, yes, i love to be bored by only having friends who believe i should be alive, it's pretty fucking great actually
i do not want to be merely tolerated or accepted. what miserably low standards. i want to be celebrated. i wanted to be asked serious questions. i want to be asked about my dreams and desires, my sorrows and my favorite trees. i want to be wanted. actively. abundantly. today.
i think part of why queer people tend to have a lot of queer friends is bc weβll talk abt our lives fully, incl sex & crushes & relationships etc. a lot of straight pplβs βacceptanceβ doesnβt go beyond not actively hurting you. they donβt know how to say/do more. or donβt want to
Being queer saved my life. Often we see queerness as deprivation. But when I look at my life, I saw that queerness demanded an alternative innovation from me. I had to make alternative routes; it made me curious; it made me ask, "Is this enough for me?"
βOcean Vuong
i love an abundance of affection. say βi love you!β to your friends. say βgood job!β every time someone in your life does a good job, however small the task. say βthis is beautiful!β whenever you feel like it. i donβt believe in witholding everyday praise or warmth
white people really canβt handle seeing nuanced, flawed, altogether messy characters of color. because theyβre so used to seeing people of color as moral symbols. rather than as, you know, people.
a very toxic idea i've encountered in writing programs/lit culture at large is that if you're a white writer, you haven't suffered enough to write gritty, real stuff. this is a toxic idea bc it assumes that writers of color are primarily or only of value bc of our suffering.
poetry is like "wow the moon is gay and death is everywhere and if only you and i were real"
i'm struck by how many readers get trained to read poetry as a decoding process or a riddle-solving. rather than "just" enjoying language and imagining what's happening on the page. a deer can be a symbol of something "profound." or it can be a deer. the sound "deer."
My god,
I thought, my whole life Iβve been under her
raincoat thinking it was somehow a marvel
that I never got wet.
βAda LimΓ³n ()
This poem. This ending.
i deeply dislike the word βcontentβ and how itβs taken over everyday speech and flattened distinctions between forms of media, art, entertainment, and literature
white privilege is acting like you donβt how know how to use google / like decades of research on racism donβt already exist / like you just need someone nicer and calmer to explain it all to you
i need my fellow east asian diaspora folks in particular to own up to the fact that our communities and businesses have been and continue to be anti-Black in many ways. start there. instead of always being like "why isn't anti-asian racism taken seriously"
amazing how twitter can actually be the most calming place for me these days because people are just spiraling here & that feels more honest & accurate to the unhinged state of the world than people offline acting like itβs just another week
some things are just bad. they canβt be fixed or redeemed. they contain no lesson. they are terrible and heartbreaking and they are also life
poems are so funny. theyβre like, oh no iβm heartbroken. but also hot?? but oh. everything and everyone is dead
i don't block/mute accounts bc i can't "handle a debate." i wrote over 60 pages for my doctoral qualifying exams, engaging with issues of race and sexuality in american literature. i block/mute bc 1) your racism is not my responsibility to debate and 2) i like myself.
whatβs a poem thatβs saved your life / healed your heart? i need one of those right now
I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again
βGeorgia OβKeeffe
i want to be known for my physical beauty AND my charming intellect and also to not actually be perceived at all. thatβs it!
i think white people disliking this movie to this degree mainly has to do with them being very used to asians being an βaestheticβ and not people with complicated emotions and real conflicts and abundant ideas twitter.com/mouseabolition
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when you tell queer kids theyβre too young to know that queer people *exist* youβre really telling them theyβre too young to love themselves, but never too young to be bullied, ostracized, isolated
fellow asians, please stop being so racist and embarrassing. ridding affirmative action won't help you. it just won't. also, getting into your top choice college is a really silly hill to die on. like, please. dream bigger.
saying "i love you" to your friends on a regular basis is really nice!! i hate the idea that it should only be for romantic situations and "reserved" for special occasions
poets receiving their spoonful of creative despair at half past midnight
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the idea that sex should only be for reproduction (or that this role is the most important βfunctionβ of sex) is one of the worst and most boring ideas people have invented
being an adult doesn't mean complete self-sufficiency (which just means pretending you don't need anyoneβa complete lie). it means self-advocacy & self-awareness. learning what you need, how to ask for it, how to ask for support & receiving it wisely. & showing up for others
one of my pet peeves is the belief that a poem is just a more complicated way of saying something you could say plainly. no. at its best, every line of a poem is actually the simplest way you could say somethingβitβs just that the something is complicated & strange & alive.
it is very, very hard to do it all. friendships, creative work, jobs, relationships/partnerships, family, taking care of yourself, food, sleep, staying politically engaged, & so on. i don't know how people have kids. i am already so tired and i'm privileged in certain ways
just remembering the time a white cishet male MFA classmate said βi speak for millions of readers!β bc he was uncomfortable with me using Chinese in two lines of a poem.
and i was like, βum like 2 billion readers would understand these lines.β
i don't know how many times i've posted this poem before. or how many times i'll post it again. but "I wake up & it breaks my heart" has been in my heart ever since i read this
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Love is the only force that allows us to hold one another close beyond the grave. That is why knowing how to love each other is also a way of knowing how to die.
βbell hooks, from All About Love
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"the work speaks for itself"βwell, maybe it does, but how will readers come to that conclusion themselves if they have no idea the work even exists? why do you think the film industry spends so much on marketing? including for films with lots of famous actors in them?
the phrase "women and minorities" assumes that the default type of woman is white and erases the existence of black women and women of color. stop using this phrase.
iβm monogamous, but like most poets, am also always, sluttily involved with the moon
i do not have patience for the belief that art shouldnβt be political. are you not alive? are you not dying? is the planet not in crisis? do you think your enemies care how beautifully subtle you can be? or that your so-called allies care about the βlongevityβ of your work?
just sent this little note to my parents
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i donβt get it. if you canβt articulate/explore unflattering despair and abrasive ennui in literature, in a POEM, where can you?
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what a relief, to talk about your life fully, to hear someone else do the same, to hear each other talk about queer life fully & freely
A lover, once: You canβt say every action is political. Then the word political loses all meaning.
He added: What is political about this moment?
I was washing his dishes. I had left the water running.
βSolmaz Sharif
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it is honestly so embarrassing to see post after post of "no one cares about violence against Asians" when Black people, Latinx people, Indigenous people have been organizing against such racism for ages. just say you want white validation & further access to white institutions
had to mute some poetry accounts on here. just not interested in grand statements about the power of literature right now. you know, you really donβt need to be capital P Poets 24/7. just eat a reeses peanut butter cup and ugly cry like the mammal you are
the thing is, i am a very tender person. but i am also a big hater. because so much of this world is not tender. but always, always i want to return to the soft, the singing places
thinking about the privilege / prestige of poetry as a "place" where grammar can be "broken" while my immigrant parents' ways of speaking/knowing are not considered "creative," just incorrect
the problem with calling every interpersonal racist behavior a manifestation of "unconscious bias" is that this ignores how much interpersonal racism is 100% conscious & institutionally supported/normalized. this notion infantilizes white people as just perpetually bumbling kids
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anything referred to as an "Asian Am politics" would not exist without the Civil Rights movement, the Black Power movement, Black marxist and communist movements, international leftist movements led by Black people. you can't be anti-Black & be for real justice at the same time
always thinking of Anne Boyerβs response to an interview q about the biggest hurdle to her writing practice:
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& there's the toxic assumption that to write, you must suffer. to write greatly, you must suffer greatly. cinematically, if possible. & as though depth of suffering = depth of authenticity. another issue: writers of color must produce "authentic" accounts of being oh so different
me, replying to emails four months later:
To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.
βEmily Dickinson
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there are many, many, many things someone could be doing instead of reading your book. lol. they could be reading another book. they could be watching a great tv show. they could be getting their ass eaten. so, i'm sorry, but you do need to promote your work. a lot
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i've heard white writers complain about not having some great trauma to "use," about writers of color getting so much attention bc we're writing about "trendy" topics. all of this is, of course, super fucked up.
it is ok, as a poet, to write something weary & totally pissed off. you are not some wonder-&-epiphany machine.
my poems are braver than i am
but i am constantly trying to catch up
I believe that if a poem gives you pleasure, you have understood it.
βMary Ruefle
poets really do hug a lot.
is it because we know how brief our time on the planet is?
or because weβve just spent hours, days alone deciding between a semi-colon and a em dash??
or because a list needs a third item???
reaccepting how i am a super cheesy person. i can't be cynical and detached, i just can't, sorry! i like feeling a lot of things and talking a lot about feelings. i like warmth and affection. romance and sweetness and unabashed earnestness. i think it's a cool way to be!
I'll cry about this earth in heaven too.
βMarina Tsvetaeva (never not thinking about this)
realizing how much i've wanted my life to be a poemβhow much i've wanted everything to matter deeply, as in a poem. every word, every pause, every sound, every silence. every breath. how impossible this often seems, but i do still want it. or, i want it again
as someone with a phd in english, lemme say that the idea that "good" grammar = good morals is a totally bullshit construct that's long been used as a tool of white supremacy and imperialism
ok some emails do just take 2-3 minutes but some do take like a full hour lmao. and therein lies the fear. the dread. the abyss
to flee a home, a land, not knowing whether you will return is horror. to have to leave a world, your world, that you love with all your love, is horror. displacement is trauma. love to Ukrainians and Ukrainians in diaspora witnessing this horrific attack unfold
what i don't get abt AI art is just why? why would you want to make something without risking anything? learning anything? without connecting to anything or anyone? connecting to yourself? without a hunger for meaning or the joy of making not for profit or even to share publicly
my heart is a little broken right now, but i am surrounded by heart-menders, heart-delighters, and hearts that sit with me and say yes, yours is a little broken right now, tell me about it if you want
βWhat I Didnβt Know Beforeβ by Ada LimΓ³nβone of my favorite, favorite love poems. With gorgeous leaps only LimΓ³n can make. So excited to start teaching The Carrying at Brandeis this weekβ
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then there are the white writers who travel across the globe in search of "real experiences," esp "real suffering." my poem about how my aunties in china are doing better than my parents have for many years in america...wouldn't fit in that narrative.
me, writing: ugh
me, not writing: ugh
me, not writing while eating fries: ugh yum
reading really is so helpful for writing. it's like "oh right a sentence can start like that" or "omg that word i want to use that word" or "wow do i hate this book let me go write something against this"
the idea that an AI trained on stolen work is now a "writing partner" is as absurd as it is morally bankrupt. a writing partner is someone who laughs so hard and so beautifully at an inside joke becoming a line in a poem that their spittle lands on your face
love that the plural of loaf is loaves
what a lovable, abundant sound
when i was in high school, people called me strong all the time because i was young & out as gay & my parents were homophobic assholes 24/7. but i didnβt want to be that strong. i wanted to be loved.
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lol there are times i've thought about greeting an audience at a bookstore like, "thank you so much for being here when you could be getting your ass eaten." but seriously: it is such a gift whenever someone spends time with my words. i don't want to ever take that for granted
i donβt care if white critics donβt find asian diasporic stories βrelatableβ or βuniversal.β there are more important things than white relatability/palatability. there are universes bigger than theirs
please read the room. if youβre not korean & esp if youβre white and you see korean and korean american women on here talking about how the media is misspelling/mispronouncing korean names, maybe this is not the best time for you to reply with βpeople also get my name wrong!β
write more love poems. they don't have to be about/for people. they can be about digimon.
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so weird how these people think i'd want a more "exciting" life by being friends with homophobes, transphobes, and white supremacists
i am a teacher. if i am killed in a school shooting, you should absolutely, immediately "politicize" my death by going after every last ghoul of a politician who doesn't support gun control.
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wild, how abstract politics are to a lot of cis het white ppl. and how okay they are with being friends with ppl who want to destroy millions of lives. i also suspect that they think it's perfectly normal to be friends with ppl with whom you never talk about anything important
one thing that folks who donβt deal with a particular form of oppression donβt usually get is how exhausting it is. so if something seems like βjust a small thing to get upset aboutβ or βnewβ to you, try considering how that thing has been a long, long pattern for so many people.
how to get unstuck when working on a poem:
-read, read, read
-talk to other poets about other poems
-get tacos
-use pinterest for the first time in 2 years & realize again you have no interest in pinterest
-fall in love with a puddle
-work on a different poem
if someone dares publish another βis poetry deadβ article, please just tell them they couldβve used that space for a poem, probably a couple poems. and stfu.
just because i write about personal things does not mean you can ask me any extremely personal question
i donβt think you actually have a queer friend or sibling etc if you donβt actually talk to them about their queer life. you just have a queer strangerβ¦ who is being nicer to you than they should be (but maybe they have to be for one reason or another)
i have never thanked a teacher later for being "tough" on me. i have thanked teachers for being generous with their insights, playful and super imaginative in their editorial guidance, honest but never unkind
white people (with savior complexes and fetishes) who go to asian countries to teach english. lol. are we ready to have THAT conversation??
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white innocenceβ’ is central to maintaining white supremacy. if every time a white person does a racist thing it's framed as basically a silly mistake, then addressing racism becomes about resolving the "awkwardness" around the "mistake" rather than any accountability
poems donβt have to end sadly to be devastating. poems donβt have to devastate to be memorable.
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it's also like, if you're east asian, do you actually know any other people of color?? because i feel like if you did you wouldn't be all like "no one cares about violence against Asians" 24/7
& remember,
loneliness is still time spent
with the world.
βOcean Vuong
I wander out into the winter.
I know what I am.
βVievee Francis, from "I've Been Thinking about Love Again"
this poem. wow
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