Chelsea HandlerVerified account

@chelseahandler

Tickets on sale for my Vaccinated And Horny stand-up tour | Dear Chelsea Podcast out now | Stream my stand-up special “Evolution” on 🍊

Los Angeles, CA
linktr.ee/chelseahandler
Joined February 2009
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  1. 20 hours ago

    This is how to be a good friend. Season finale of Dear Chelsea out today.

    12 replies 3 retweets 153 likes
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  2. Sep 8

    I love men who have never been pregnant telling women how long it takes to find out you’re pregnant. “And then when you have baby, good luck getting healthcare or protecting the baby from guns.”

    0:37
    Reporter: Why force a rape or incest victim to carry a pregnancy to term? Gov. Greg Abbott (R-TX): "It doesn't require that at all, because obviously it provides at least 6 weeks for a person to be able to get an abortion."
    Show this thread
    469 replies 892 retweets 7,232 likes
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  3. Sep 7

    To all flight attendants. I’m sorry.

    228 replies 359 retweets 3,568 likes
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  4. Sep 4

    I remain steadfast in my decision. To all the parents out there—make yourself a cocktail or pop an edible. You’re doing the Lord’s work, and I’m doing mushrooms with my landscaper.

    273 replies 394 retweets 6,694 likes
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  5. Sep 3

    Alright!

    Lyft and Uber will cover all legal fees for drivers sued under a new Texas law that imposed a ban on abortions after six weeks.
    92 replies 426 retweets 7,723 likes
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  6. Sep 2

    No hitting on people at funerals. New episode of Dear Chelsea out today.

    36 replies 7 retweets 123 likes
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  7. Sep 1

    Texas won’t stop a virus from reproducing but they will sue a woman who doesn’t want to— nice work, men.

    655 replies 5,374 retweets 32,959 likes
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  8. Sep 1

    Texas will force you to become a mother, unless your fetus is pro Critical Race Theory.

    138 replies 411 retweets 4,183 likes
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  9. Aug 31

    Yes, children will become “spoiled” by this basic human need. Welcome to America.

    A school district opted out of free and reduced-price meals, saying students could “become spoiled”
    136 replies 395 retweets 4,233 likes
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  10. Aug 28

    90% of the population at Mar-a-Lago.

    0:34
    Rudy Giuliani denies having a drinking problem: “I probably function more effectively than 90% of the population.”
    164 replies 114 retweets 1,563 likes
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  11. Aug 26

    People have been having babies since the dawn of time, and apparently now, I’m an OBGYN. New episode of Dear Chelsea out now.

    22 replies 9 retweets 127 likes
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  12. Aug 26

    Wait until you ask the rest of the country.

    59 percent of Florida voters don't want DeSantis to run for president in 2024
    392 replies 574 retweets 9,053 likes
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  13. Aug 25

    Put the vaccine in it and we’ll be good to go by Thanksgiving.

    Starbucks' fall 2021 menu features debut of Apple Crisp Macchiato
    165 replies 482 retweets 6,033 likes
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  14. Aug 24

    Jim Crow laws institutionalized discrimination and locked millions of Black Americans out of the ballot box. On August 28, we'll gather to say: We won’t go back to Jim Crow America! Join the !

    We're Fighting Back #VotingRightsMarch
    Join the March On for Voting Rights across the country on August 28. marchonforvotingrights.org
    45 replies 120 retweets 416 likes
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  15. Aug 23

    “Ginger Gaetz” will have a nice ring to it when being called up to a witness stand.

    Rep. Matt Gaetz elopes to California, marries girlfriend Ginger Luckey
    370 replies 125 retweets 2,371 likes
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  16. Aug 23

    Arming teachers with the tools to stop a shooter and showing flight attendants how to knock someone out— definitely why people got into those respective career fields.

    1:39
    Inside a flight attendant self-defense training as bad passenger behavior surges -- reports.
    45 replies 128 retweets 1,129 likes
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  17. Aug 23

    Santa Barbara we did it. I reopened the bowl after its last show in 2019. We’re on tour, everybody. Even coming to Florida! Check your cities! I can’t wait to see more of you soon.

    72 replies 17 retweets 678 likes
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  18. Aug 20

    Flight attendants are taking self-defense and karate classes to protect themselves from passengers who refuse to wear masks. I hope you guys are proud of yourself for assaulting a flight attendant and refusing to wear masks. And you want people to take you seriously?

    306 replies 1,020 retweets 13,106 likes
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  19. Aug 20

    Come see me in Houston on 12/10 at 713 Music Hall!

    53 replies 22 retweets 364 likes
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  20. Aug 19

    Remember, safety first. New episode of Dear Chelsea out now.

    24 replies 8 retweets 99 likes
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