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  1. Jun 3

    I can eat half a cake if I eat a salad before, right?

  2. May 17

    If I had the means, I would open a BBQ joint where we didn't serve BBQ sauce. Moreover, BBQ sauce would be strictly prohibited.

  3. May 14

    Finally bought the Anova Precision Cooker! Can't wait to cook the perfectly cooked steaks.

  4. Retweeted
    May 14

    SNL just came up with a hilarious version of Alexa designed for senior citizens

  5. Apr 28

    Got an email that my Fidget Cube from shipped! Can't want to become unusually dependent on it to the point where people hate me.

  6. Apr 26
  7. Apr 24

    There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who right click & insert column left and those who right click & insert column right.

  8. Apr 21

    It's amazing how much stuff I can get done when I'm not in meetings.

  9. Apr 21

    If 1 day were 30-hours long, I'd probably still over commit.

  10. Apr 20

    BREAKING NEWS: Plastc Card explores filing for bankruptcy: ceases operations, deletes Twitter, deletes Instagram, takes our money with them.

  11. Apr 19

    Does anyone wake up feeling energized and refreshed? Is that a thing?

  12. Apr 11

    The highlight of my day was buying a collapsible laundry basket.

  13. Apr 11

    Just paid $256 in TXTag fees.

  14. Apr 4

    Mother of god. I've never seen so many signal bars on my phone. Maybe I'll just stay here in New Orleans.

  15. Mar 24

    8.5 hours of straight meetings. I think I should start saying no more often.

  16. Mar 4

    When you perfectly cook meat, and it's unbelievably moist.

  17. Mar 3

    I love technology most days. Today, I wish there were a technology that would make me forget all my frustrations with tech forever.

  18. Feb 27

    Is ending every email with the first letter of your name a sign that you've made it?

  19. Feb 23

    Inbox zero feels sooooo good, but it's also scary because I feel like I may have dropped the ball on something.

  20. Feb 21

    Never underestimate the powers of a well-designed CSS button.

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