market dynamics are a consequence of choice the trads and movement incels don't *want* there to be a sexual marketplace, they're *mad* about there being one because they're mad about you having choices but go off sis
enh, maybe the former is an enormous cultural formation with centuries if not millennia of momentum and the latter is a zebras-not-horses edge case at worst, yet people should get credit for only speaking against the latter and not supporting the former? skeptical
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I don't think the latter case is nearly as rare as you would hope--moreover, I think it's something strongly evoked by the term "market". There must be a better paradigm for making relationship decisions than double-entry bookkeeping*.
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*which my brain wants to spell "double-entry bbookkeeppiinngg".
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cchheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh keeping score is absolutely poison, for sure. maybe i should write a glossy book about "abundance transactions" blathering at unnecessary length about how you should think of your relationships are transactional, but generously
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*as transactional
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i basically just want people to be occasionally asking the questions "am i making sure it's still worth it for <partner>?" and "is it still worth it for me?", without resentment or guilt because it's supposed to be worth it for one or the other of you ~just because~
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(resenting a partner for not giving you what you want ~just because~ naturally being a sign that you're still using them to fill a parent-shaped hole in your life instead of having transformed that impulse into something suitable for an adult)
End of conversation
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