Even when I'm having a really good time, being away from home and from my routine makes me feel uncomfortable. Similarly, I love socializing but it also exhausts me. Sustaining a full 2.5 days of nonstop connecting with people is a LOT for me. Worth it, but dang.
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Ugh I tapped out earlier than I thought I would, spent the whole day wallowing alone in prep for another obligation tonight. Why is doing community so hard
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Me: "Wow, I'm here with people I love and almost never get to see IRL, especially not at this density! Awesome!" Me one day later: "I need to stay in a quiet dark room for hours on end before I can speak to another human. Also layer guilt on top of this emotional experience."
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What if I'm pathologizing this unnecessarily and I actually just need to buck up and show up and fuckin do the thing.
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Replying to @sonyaellenmann
Consider: It can be both an unpleasant experience which will drain you for days after AND something that you should just chin up and do because you need to push your limits or they won't grow.
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guilt is your brain's way of telling you you want to be better embrace the wanting to be better, leave the feeling bad on the counter
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