Of course there are probably also some who've gone off the deep end who have gone well past their frustration and succumbed to bitterness & hate. What do we do with these?
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Not sure what you mean by "toxic frame" but "seeking intimacy" is indeed the most important goal that we should be striving for in this arena. Observing the "singles scene" there is a certain competitiveness for empty "sport sex." A game both men & women are playing.
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I'm convinced that all the superficial hooking-up is damaging men & women's hearts & psyches. Frustrated incels are merely a single visible symptom of a larger problem that affects both men & women, albeit with different consequences.
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Our culture glorifies sex too much at the cost of real intimacy & companionship. It's unfortunate that it's become taboo to judge hooking-up, because of all the campaigning to expand sexual freedom, remove consequences and stigma of giving in to unrestrained animal instincts.
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Non-judgmentalism triumphed over virtue. We're no longer allowed to criticize or shame, nor do we praise self-control, because it might make those without that strength of character feel bad about themselves.
End of conversation
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