"Microagression reasoning" pattern-matches to pareidolias of controlling shitty partners (mostly but not exclusively male).
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'your assertion that certain speech acts may create an unwelcoming atmosphere is actually flawed pattern matching about what's going on in other people's heads, that's going on in your head' well... no u
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Replying to @adornofthagn @0knaomi and
All speech acts create an unwelcoming atmosphere for some subset of humanity
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Replying to @drethelin @0knaomi and
Which is an excuse to be a bitch about it when told that yours might I guess
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Replying to @adornofthagn @0knaomi and
Yeah I’M the one being a bitch here
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Replying to @drethelin @0knaomi and
Yeah, you're saying, stop telling people their actions make others feel bad, this is bad. This is precisely, being a bitch about being told such a thing
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Replying to @adornofthagn @0knaomi and
That’s in fact not what I’m saying. I’m saying when you say that someone’s action makes you feel bad, it is disingenuous and harmful to the social fabric to do so in a way that suggests to most hearers that they are being, in however minor a way, deliberately villainous.
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Replying to @drethelin @adornofthagn and
the imputation of *deliberate* villainy isn't really there, and like so much of ~systems discourse~ part of the point is that the villainy doesn't need to be meaningfully deliberate to have an effect
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Replying to @chaosprime @adornofthagn and
It’s the difference between saying “ow! Stop standing on my foot!” And “how dare you insult me by standing on my foot?!”
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Replying to @drethelin @adornofthagn and
yeeeeah, there is kind of a thing there where people who've become conscious of a behavior stop remembering that there was a time before that or that it's possible for other people to be doing it thoughtlessly
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however woke i have managed to become this week is obviously the bare minimum
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