the worst human behavior is cultivating one's own suffering to control somebody else's behavior, and the worst systemic behavior is incentivizing that
that's a valid position, but i personally find it less obnoxiously manipulative tbqf
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and when you bonsai your pain, you're using the other party's empathy to get your way, which means you're both inflicting suffering on them and acting to incapacitate them by conditioning away their capacity for empathy
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