bringing it up here is tantamount to an assertion that the people who do have the life experience need to shut up in order to compensate for the people who are talking about it without the life experience
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No, it really isn't. "But women can be abusive too" is a really common deflection tactic when a man is accused of abuse.
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Replying to @sschinke @chaosprime and
And in that situation, it's a deflection even if the person doing so has experienced abuse from a woman.
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yes so we're certainly doing a lot here to dispel the idea that one literally cannot say that the behavior called out in TZP was abusive without being buried under a pile of reflexive ideological pushback
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if gjoni was abusive then almost every girlfriend I've ever known (mine or others') was abusive, and I don't think most of them were
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Nevermind the bits of physical abuse, eh. Sure bud.
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most girlfriend's I've known would absolutely physically intervene if I tried to carry out a suicide threat in front of them
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i mean i love the idea that it's unethical to physically intervene in self-harm as the radical anarchist shit that it is, but it's definitely not a mainstream idea
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if I ever become convinced it's true I'll acknowledge that I'm just as bad as people who beat their partners for fucking up dinner or w/e
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i do not think either of our friends here is asserting that though it'd be nice if in practice tagging you as "abuser" at any level in any circumstances wasn't a signal to set you on fire socially forever
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