asking people what pronouns they prefer feels substantially less weird and disrespectful than asking them what gender they are.
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Replying to @nberlat
it's hilarious to me that i hate speech policing but the "prefer" in there makes me cringe
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Replying to @nberlat
framing identity as preference. i'd just say "what're your pronouns?"
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Replying to @chaosprime @nberlat
otherwise a bit like saying "what name do you prefer?" rather than "what's your name?" when no multiplicity of names is in evidence
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Replying to @chaosprime
hmm. I feel like I've seen "prefer" used fairly often...maybe I should rethink though...or at least ask...
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Replying to @nberlat
it's certainly common. that doesn't mean it's flawless or nothin'.
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Replying to @chaosprime @nberlat
it's possible to detect a condescension in it, like "i know what you *are* dear but what would you like me to pretend you are"
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Replying to @chaosprime @nberlat1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
(since as we all know no praxis is valid until it appears in a blog post)
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Replying to @chaosprime @nberlat
my particular thoughts are influenced by how the theoretical underpinning i use for pronoun choice (in particular neopronouns) is…
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Replying to @chaosprime @nberlat
…that a pronoun is a linguistic placeholder for a name, so as a person's name is what they say it is, so are their pronouns
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End of conversation
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