asking people what pronouns they prefer feels substantially less weird and disrespectful than asking them what gender they are.
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hmm. I feel like I've seen "prefer" used fairly often...maybe I should rethink though...or at least ask...
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it's certainly common. that doesn't mean it's flawless or nothin'.
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it's possible to detect a condescension in it, like "i know what you *are* dear but what would you like me to pretend you are"
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(since as we all know no praxis is valid until it appears in a blog post)
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my particular thoughts are influenced by how the theoretical underpinning i use for pronoun choice (in particular neopronouns) is…
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…that a pronoun is a linguistic placeholder for a name, so as a person's name is what they say it is, so are their pronouns
End of conversation
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