i blame myself, mostly for naming him victor von doom. my first choice was tyler
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an unimpeachable generational choice but then his initials are TvD and that's gonna be rough at school
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that's why i went with victor. VD, initials no one could mock
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oh i think i'm starting to understand how your boy turned out
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i tried so hard with that boy. i gave a talk at his high school about how i breastfed him until he was 17 and overpowered me
End of conversation
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