hey i need a few dozen really awful ideas for stuff to do with fast food, like slathering it all over your body
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cast Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter on it, bribe Commander Shepard to tell the Citadel it's her favorite, intubate it
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feed it to a mogwai after midnight, offer it as a sacrifice to Arioch, use it as lube, put it in your gas tank, defenestrate it
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insult its mother, insert it into a database without SQL injection prevention, put it in your butt, cast aspersions on it
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leave it on a hanged man's gravestone for two weeks, involve it in a land war in Asia, convert it to XML, call it "unsinkable"
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flirt awkwardly with it, bite off more than you can chew of it, sculpt it into a bust of H.P. Lovecraft, grant it extreme unction
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take it down to the spooky basement by yourself, speak its true name thrice in a mirror, emotionally neglect it, crossexamine it
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challenge it to a duel, ignore its boundaries, talk shit about it behind its back, test your experimental teleporter using it
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speak aloud of how it exceeds even the works of the gods, post it on Instagram with an inspirational quote, get attached to it
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integrate it with blockchain technology, relocate it to San Francisco, murder its parents in Crime Alley, train it as a Jedi
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