@AquafarE lol, yeah. and i don't even know if i begrudge people having their deliciously guilty sex-cake and eating it too, but a couple of…
@AquafarE wouldn't *that* be friggin' lovely? good reason to destroy the need to narrativize to ourselves about how we're not *really* bad.
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@chaosprime I've seen cheating being used as a tool to be an abusive spouse/partner where threats were made and made true thru it. -
@AquafarE also fun: a way to escape an abusive partner by making yourself repulsive to them. that was a bit of true-to-life TV recently. -
@chaosprime Oh yes. I know a woman who got a new boyfriend from cheating on an emotionally abusive partner. -
@AquafarE i bet just to fuck with all of us, that relationship will wind up being emotionally positive and fulfilling for 40 years. -
@chaosprime So if Ossie or Ruby needed or wanted a fling, their feelings for each other had not changed or pushed their relationship to end. -
@AquafarE see, now that's beautiful. -
@AquafarE to have that, they had to have space for their feelings to each other to be whatever they happened to be, not a prewritten script. -
@chaosprime If he did something that made her uncomfortable, or unhappy he cared enough to check how he behaved in the relationship - 10 more replies
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@chaosprime I learned from Iyanla Vanzant what "calling a thing a thing" looks like. There are so many ways to say the truth honestly. -
@AquafarE too bad it usually takes a lifetime to carve out a space where the truth is something you can say without fear of punishment. -
@chaosprime Yes oh yes -- it takes accepting that you may face punishment for it. This is why we have people who tell not a soul...& live on -
@AquafarE *nod* honesty is lovely, but honesty when you don't have the resources to survive potential punishment is straight up irrational. -
@chaosprime Deaf women who are in survival relationships and survival marriages where partner is neglectful or abusive. -
@AquafarE oh, hell. that's really awful. -
@chaosprime Yes. That is why its revolutionary for me not to get in relationships just to be in one. -
@AquafarE *nodnod* that's a revolution worth having.
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@chaosprime I've seen grief stricken parents' marriage fall apart,cheating was simply one of the horrible ways they tried to numb their painThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@chaosprime It is too easy to find a villian and avoid confronting the root of the problem.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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