@AquafarE @Basseyworld …want to explain myself to ppl who've assumed i'm running default settings & deal with their anger + disappointment
@AquafarE if you can't say yes, because you can't admit what you want, you need your partner to not need you to say yes.
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@chaosprime In other words, "Baby, don't ask me if I did or will, 'cuz I will have to say yes and you will be hurt and upset" ? -
@AquafarE oh, that too, the don't-ask-don't-tell relationship, but i meant in the course of cheating itself, with one's partner in that. -
@chaosprime What you meant sounds like they tell themselves they didn't "choose" to cheat when they actually did. -
@AquafarE yup. if you take on a passive role, then you get to feel like it wasn't really you who was responsible, it was the active party. -
@AquafarE can't do explicit consent for the same reason can't do a condom: it would betray premeditation. -
@chaosprime "It was an accident" "I got caught up in the heat of the moment" *inserts little baby violins* -
@AquafarE lol, yeah. and i don't even know if i begrudge people having their deliciously guilty sex-cake and eating it too, but a couple of… -
@AquafarE …reinforcement iterations down the road, that's "no means yes" rape culture. - 27 more replies
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@AquafarE lots of people are interpersonally competent enough to negotiate that minefield, miraculously enough, but it toxifies culture.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@chaosprime Wow. I hadn't thought about that pov.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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