whenever i harsh Buddhism's vibe, some fucker brings me a "well actually Buddhists believe the opposite of that", which is way too easy given what i have now decided is the Third Law of Buddhism: for every Buddhism there is an equal and opposite Buddhism somewhere in Asia
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Mentioning things in a literal way is not really their method. Instead it's more: "Maybe just try this practice and see what happens! Or maybe not. And you'll have to wait somewhere between 10 years and infinity lifetimes to see progress. And there's no progress."
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Personally I think this is a feature and says that skin in the game is required to get the understandings afforded by the practice. But frustrating to those who are used to understanding things by understanding them directly (ie me!) Or through logic.
End of conversation
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PS I feel like you might need to chill with some bodhisattva buds. they got that real Buddha energy not that "let's do logic on a hill" energy.