my verbal cognition chatter almost never turns off lol it's actually annoying bc I can feel the nonverbal thoughts rolling around but the fucking verbal stream is screaming "BLAH BLAH BLAH"
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yeah, i'm lucky. i had the ultimate early training of going on long-ass paddling trips and just enjoying looking at water waves trees water dripping off a paddle birds rocks
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Replying to @Timber_22 @selentelechia and
lots of inner silence I really dodged a lot of cultural bullets i think
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I had a lot more *inner* silence as a kid but I talked aloud...*constantly,* and my dad sat me down one day and explained that some people have an *internal* monologue and would I please consider developing one
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@selentelechia how did you experience that*? was it a) constructive/helpful/illuminating b) hurtful (subtly or overtly) c) bit of both [*or: how do you remember experiencing that?]1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes -
I remember being a little taken aback partly because the idea of keeping the words *in* was a novel concept partly sad because now I didn't know WHICH things I was ALLOWED to say (I know my dad meant no harm, he just needed a break lol)
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Replying to @selentelechia @Timber_22 and
and ofc it wasn't just him, that's just my earliest memory of being told to stop talking wait no I remember when I was 3 that my mom had a rule about the car "music on means quiet time, and you can sing along if you sing the same song"
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Replying to @selentelechia @Timber_22 and
that rule feels less suppress-y in my memories minimal access to the direct experience now, ofc sigh what I wouldn't give for a visual/verbal stream of consciousness *log* for literally my entire waking life
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partly sad because now I didn't know WHICH things I was ALLOWED to say aagh there was a total chance for him to help you create a working "ruleset" or "code" of course he just needed a break.
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my dependence on verbal cognition these days is actually a bit aggravating when I try to relax and let the nonverbal side do more of the heavy lifting I start to panic (???)
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random hypothesis: if nonverbal is doing the heavy lifting then whatever's being done won't have verbal justifications built into it which is an xrisk for a child
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oooh I came to a related conclusion about feeling a sense of urgency about being able to explain myself in a way others would accept but I didn't link it to verbal/nonverbal cognition not being able to explain why I did Thing was seen as disrespect/Bad, when I was a kid wtf
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