when you get angry, people tell you that you need to calm down. this is incorrect. what you need is to learn to act sensibly while angry, especially in disregarding the social scripts provided to you for acting it out, and to harness the energy your anger is providing you
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no, calling for state change is usually not helpful; best strategy is usually 1. acting out energy (physically), 2. fully expressing and acknowledging the grievance, but not from the position of the anger but from the position of the concern, 3. negotiation of plan or integration
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however, if the angry person is just in screaming mode, it may be necessary to point out that screaming prevents useful interaction, appeal to need for self regulation, and provide opportunity to calm down and/or switch context
End of conversation
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