goal-oriented interactions are exercises in how the priorities of each node will play out in the partial sync they create. everyone from Dale Carnegie to Roosh V is trying to tell you how to facilitate and exploit this, from cutesy tricks like mirroring up to life orientations
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one thing this means is that if you need to engage in a goal-oriented interaction, think about & plan for downside risks and failure modes *well beforehand*. when you're actually going into the interaction, you should be thinking about nothing but successful interactions like it
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if you have no experience of success in the type of interaction, you should be thinking about examples of success you've witnessed. failing that, success you can vaguely imagine. this is because failure modes are themselves attractor basins in the phase space of cognition
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so if you are thinking about failure, if you are worrying about failure, you are *running failure software*, and the cognitive processes which the other party does you the honor of sharing with you will become infected with failure and lead them to facilitate your failure
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this, of course, leaves you in the position of the classic Russian mental exercise "see how long you can go without thinking of a white bear". good luck, have fun
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Replying to @jingle__belle
i dunno if i know what you mean by that well enough to confirm or deny, but could be. "at what cost" is a great question; what would be the cost? if one does not do this, what is one, and what is the difference between it and a force of [nature|will]?
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Replying to @jingle__belle
i'm not particularly advocating paring away all but one goal; it's a great way to achieve that goal, but as you note it's also a great way to devastate the countryside. people normally have a ton of conflicting priorities and that's fine
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Replying to @chaosprime @jingle__belle
what i'm advocating getting rid of isn't all consideration of goals other than the current primary one, it's activity that's nominally in support of the current primary one but is actually just fucking it up
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i see how my phrasing "thinking of nothing but" sounds like the other thing, though; oops for most people a memory or example or visualization of success will involve solving for multiple priorities though
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