goal-oriented interactions are exercises in how the priorities of each node will play out in the partial sync they create. everyone from Dale Carnegie to Roosh V is trying to tell you how to facilitate and exploit this, from cutesy tricks like mirroring up to life orientations
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one thing this means is that if you need to engage in a goal-oriented interaction, think about & plan for downside risks and failure modes *well beforehand*. when you're actually going into the interaction, you should be thinking about nothing but successful interactions like it
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if you have no experience of success in the type of interaction, you should be thinking about examples of success you've witnessed. failing that, success you can vaguely imagine. this is because failure modes are themselves attractor basins in the phase space of cognition
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so if you are thinking about failure, if you are worrying about failure, you are *running failure software*, and the cognitive processes which the other party does you the honor of sharing with you will become infected with failure and lead them to facilitate your failure
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Replying to @chaosprime
This is particularly true when lying. When you're in an interaction where you need to lie you shouldn't be thinking about how to convince the other party - you need to be utterly convinced yourself.
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Replying to @outer_dialogue @chaosprime
That's the biggest problem with lying though: if you're really good at lying you have to lie to yourself and that erodes your sanity.
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It's ultimately much easier to pursue your advantage where you can do so with honesty.
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I'm not sure what I'm doing here is virtue signalling. Intelligent people may well be able to keep two or more minds about a matter for a very long time. But if you're not too smart, it's easier to constrain the struggle to handling all the times you're just wrong about things
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Replying to @rheophile10 @outer_dialogue
concur telling the truth means not having to remember anything
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Replying to @chaosprime @outer_dialogue
and it's hard enough to figure out by itself, right? And it's hostile to your desires and intentions more often than not so just handling it is a struggle. If you can do that and lie too, then possibly your talents are wasted
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yeah, it's highly analogous to the principle that you should never write code that's as clever as you can write, because debugging it is twice as hard so now you're half as clever as it takes to debug it lying is clever
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While i agree in principle, i have yet to encounter it in a serious discussion where it is *not* used by some idiot pulling the rest down to their level. As in "`const names = http://items.map (item => http://item.name )` cant be understand by mere mortals!11!"
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Replying to @keppla @chaosprime and
To bring it back to the analogy: some cleverness can be tamed by patterns or infrastructure. For lying, bureaucracy and attorneys come to mind.
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