cognition is not a discrete process taking place inside your head. it isn't even a discrete process taking place inside your body. it's a web extending everywhere, with dense nodes pulling it this way and that, synchronizing and desynchronizing, making models of each other
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goal-oriented interactions are exercises in how the priorities of each node will play out in the partial sync they create. everyone from Dale Carnegie to Roosh V is trying to tell you how to facilitate and exploit this, from cutesy tricks like mirroring up to life orientations
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one thing this means is that if you need to engage in a goal-oriented interaction, think about & plan for downside risks and failure modes *well beforehand*. when you're actually going into the interaction, you should be thinking about nothing but successful interactions like it
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if you have no experience of success in the type of interaction, you should be thinking about examples of success you've witnessed. failing that, success you can vaguely imagine. this is because failure modes are themselves attractor basins in the phase space of cognition
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so if you are thinking about failure, if you are worrying about failure, you are *running failure software*, and the cognitive processes which the other party does you the honor of sharing with you will become infected with failure and lead them to facilitate your failure
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Replying to @chaosprime
This is particularly true when lying. When you're in an interaction where you need to lie you shouldn't be thinking about how to convince the other party - you need to be utterly convinced yourself.
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Replying to @outer_dialogue @chaosprime
That's the biggest problem with lying though: if you're really good at lying you have to lie to yourself and that erodes your sanity.
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It's ultimately much easier to pursue your advantage where you can do so with honesty.
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yeah, the people who are clearly doing it all the time just to stay in practice mostly do not seem to do well, barring the occasional outlier head of state
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