many people deeply need a sense of strong stability in their intimate relationships. many of these people also find themselves immersed in a cultural milieu where the concept of marriage is starkly disintegrated and the idea of the community enforcing bonds is a joke. what do?
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at the end of the day, if your private dynamic with your partner transgresses no social norms, you don't have an intimate relationship, you have a business partnership, and a particularly cowardly one at that
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but in a social context where people have a lot of free-floating, unfulfilled need to perform and witness altruistic punishment, every transgressive element is a potential part of a callout that can be performed if your partner ends the relationship when you didn't want to
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when enough of these are visible in progress at any given time, it creates an ambient stabilizing force in relationships, replacing that creaky, premodern social censure for divorce. isn't it beautiful how life finds a way?
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