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chaosprime's profile
Chaos
Chaos
Chaos
@chaosprime

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Chaos

@chaosprime

problemagic

Joined July 2012

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    1. Chaos‏ @chaosprime Jul 12
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      modern smoke detectors are such spectacularly worthless pieces of shit come home to one beeping. i'm like, oh, this shit, so you can make this whole rig for wiring it into the house so it can beep at me and i can't sleep but you can't spring for $2.12 to make it self-recharging

      2 replies 0 retweets 25 likes
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    2. Chaos‏ @chaosprime Jul 12
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      so i go get the ladder and a 9-volt battery and climb up, acrophobia jangling. the battery compartment is right at the maximum extension of my arm and turns out not to be a push-to-pop-open one, it takes lateral force and won't fucking open. but eventually it goes.

      1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
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    3. Chaos‏ @chaosprime Jul 12
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      thing takes AAs. jesus christ. down, get AAs, back up. start pulling the old batteries. they've gone bad in the unit and, since this is something i have to do overhead, now there's a light dusting of dried battery acid coming down. luckily my eyes were to the right of it

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
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    4. Chaos‏ @chaosprime Jul 12
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      zero visual indication of what orientation the batteries need to be in when they go in, but i find it. pop 'em in, close compartment, haul ladder away. two rooms away when the fucking thing beeps again. haul ladder back, back up, acrophobia not any happier

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
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    5. Chaos‏ @chaosprime Jul 12
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      there's exactly one way to interact with the unit, a button. press it. every alarm in the apartment starts going off saying "FIRE". cute. press it again, it says "carbon monoxide". press it again, blinky light goes solid green and it shuts up. okay, cool. haul ladder away

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
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    6. Chaos‏ @chaosprime Jul 12
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      two rooms away and it beeps again. it is literally fucking ignoring the fresh batteries i have just put in it. back up, tear the fucking piece of shit off its connectors. so now thanks to good old fashioned American cheap shitty design, i have no smoke detector in this room

      1 reply 0 retweets 16 likes
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    7. Chaos‏ @chaosprime Jul 12
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      but the smoke detector sitting uselessly on my dresser is fully compliant with a long list of safety requirements set by busybody knowitalls with no skin in the game! so *that's* all right

      7 replies 0 retweets 18 likes
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    8. Charles DeGlopper‏ @bronzebarbarian Jul 12
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      Replying to @chaosprime

      A combination of code, and floor plan means I have 5 smoke detectors and a carbon monoxide detector about 12 ft apart. The echoing and my poor hearing mean I never know which battery it is.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      Chaos‏ @chaosprime Jul 12
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      Replying to @bronzebarbarian

      gahhhh

      9:56 PM - 12 Jul 2019
      • 1 Like
      • Charles DeGlopper
      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        1. New conversation
        2. Charles DeGlopper‏ @bronzebarbarian Jul 12
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          Replying to @chaosprime

          Has anyone ever had a smoke detector battery fail in the middle of the afternoon?

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Chaos‏ @chaosprime Jul 12
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          Replying to @bronzebarbarian

          seems like that would be a flagrant violation of Murphy's law

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation

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