sleepily looking for a butter knife to cut up a banana for cereal, i thought “didn’t i... earlier?” where the fully subvocalized thought would’ve been “didn’t i [leave a knife there] earlier [days ago]?” and i could dimly perceive the actual cognition underlying the verbalization
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i've worried from time to time that one day it'll sneak up and swallow me whole like happened to a family friend when i was a kid, but professionals seem to be of the opinion that if it were going to get me it would have by now. so that's nice to know
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fwiw i attribute my not going further into schizophrenia to what i think of as my reflex to ask "is this thought maybe a little self-serving?", what Scott Alexander calls the "revolutionary" here: https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/ZiQqsgGX6a42Sfpii/the-apologist-and-the-revolutionary … and Freud would have called part of the reality principle
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this also being what fucks up my life by rendering me incapable of diving into a cozy ingroup world-story and earning an endless stream of brownie points by rah-rahing it, so, y'know, caveat cogitator
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End of conversation
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Unnecessary?! Maybe from a purely functional perspective, but it probably satisfies social needs, aids in self-awareness/-reflection, and helps one maintain a sense of humor about their various predicaments. Seems like a highly productive adaptation to me!
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